Jump to content
Chapala.com Webboard
Sign in to follow this  
Mainecoons

Humor--What to do with your stimulus check in America

Recommended Posts

A little humor here sent by a friend of mine.  More than a grain of truth too.

We have the option here to use at least some of the money to help out the local folks who are getting really hurt by this, as MtnMama suggested.

Quote

Hello taxpayers,

 

Sometimes this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment.

 

It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

 

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

Q: Where will the government get this money?

A: From taxpayers.

 

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?

A: Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A: Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.

* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.

* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

Instead, keep the money in America by:

(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or

(2) Go to a ballgame, or

(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or

(4) Beer, or

(5) Tattoos

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

 

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing those great pictures  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of us older folks who went to Catholic schools remember this well.  She's baaaack!

Image may contain: 1 person, possible text that says 'The government has called on retired nuns to help enforce social distancing.'

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, Mainecoons said:

Some of us older folks who went to Catholic schools remember this well.  She's baaaack!

Image may contain: 1 person, possible text that says 'The government has called on retired nuns to help enforce social distancing.'

Do we get the ones with the knucle busing rulers?  That will do the trick!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely, this one and the others come fully equipped.

Meanwhile, caged in our house, things are getting tense!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

91379604_3492738394075373_1010274095834595328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_oc=AQk5I-xmiPoneuRS5bjsZgagzy9X1FAyamSvMBD9b7-ir0SLK0gojTihrlpK6cD5n4E&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-2.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=c5b2f405001a4019f7833d4d8982c597&oe=5EA8906F

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IMG-20200402-WA0011.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

image (15).png

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love 'em all! Keep 'em comin' ! react_thanks.png.7d22de4fb4bc0d40acf3723391818a44.pngreact_like.png.7576d798cd958e424f2de82170aaaaec.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

image (16).png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

image (17).png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hire a mexican to do something----anything. Requests for dispensas (food baskets) will be forthcoming for the poor.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...