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Any Teenagers and Young People?


Michael Ray
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16 hours ago, mudgirl said:

Are you a psychologist now? If so, you've failed in your diagnosis. I am quite far from angry, bitter or pessimistic. I'm a realist. Nor am I just a "casual observer of foreign teenage girls in Mexico." 

BTW, I have zero problem with the fact that others may not agree with my views on this or any other topic. But it has never occurred to me to speak to the character, personality or psychological state of someone I've never met, simply because I disagree with their opinion. 

Go back and re.read my post.  I said, "about this subject".

I don´t know you and I haven´t any judgmental opinions about you in general or as a person.  Only replying about your opinion of the outcome of their move to Mexico as it seemed you can only see one outcome, and that was in, rather strong language, that gave no hope of anything but a disaster, including foot stomping,  raging, emotional abuse, never forgiving her parents, etc., right down to possible suicide.

Rest easy, as OTH, I haven´t any opinion about you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, slainte39 said:

Go back and re.read my post.  I said, "about this subject".

I don´t know you and I haven´t any judgmental opinions about you in general or as a person.  Only replying about your opinion of the outcome of their move to Mexico as it seemed you can only see one outcome, and that was in, rather strong language, that gave no hope of anything but a disaster, including foot stomping,  raging, emotional abuse, never forgiving her parents, etc., right down to possible suicide.

Rest easy, as OTH, I haven´t any opinion about you.

Thanks for your reply. I know you said "about this subject" And I was not bitter, angry, or pessimistic, I was stating what I felt was the reality. I actually might very well have not responded to this topic post at all, but for the fact that the OP said their daughter was really upset about them "making plans to move to Chapala". Which says to me that the daughter wasn't included and consulted in the planning- the parents seem to have just gone ahead and made plans and now want to try to convince her that it will be fine, by soliciting info on the teenage scene Lakeside. It was that attitude that inspired my replies.

It's quite disrespectful to a 16 year old, whose life you are planning to pull the rug out from under, not to make her a part of the planning process or to go ahead and make plans without her input carrying weight. It can actually make all the difference to someone that age to feel that they are being treated as an equal whose opinion and feelings are of value and that the decision will be a "family" one. It's one thing if the kid is 12, quite another when they're 16.

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Another possibility is that she was informed, included in the conversation from the get go, had input, and is still recalcitrant.  Then it comes down to who finally governs and makes the final decision and is she a mild, medium, or strong dissenter.  Hard to tell from the limited information of the OP. 

I just don´t think any of us have enough information to predict the final outcome of this move if it does happen. We don´t even know how compelling is the reason for the parents move to Mexico, work related? health reasons? or something we haven´t any idea about.  Even the OP said he had to move his senior year in high school because of his father moving to a small town. I´m not willing to think she will be dragged here kicking and screaming from the one post…... and her objections might be valid but not family destroying, just that she would rather not. I´m saying if they have to, and there isn´t any choice, it can be managed.  I know two families with DACA kids that aren´t legal in the US and they had to move back to Mexico with children who know nothing about Mexico either.

It won´t be the first time that parents have made a major change in a minor´s life that they didn´t like….just think divorce and family separation.

We don´t know all  the circumstances of this situation to predict the certain outcome.as it sounds like it´s going to happen anyway---- and then it behooves everyone to make the best of it.  If they are just doing it because Dad stuck a wet finger in the air and said "Mexico", then I would agree with you.

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I have a mid-20s daughter who has been with us on-and-off since we moved here almost 3 years ago. She finished college, traveled some, and then came to Mexico. Mind you, she had been visiting Mexico with us since a tyke, and she was familiar with Latin culture (raised in Key West and South Florida) and speaks functional Spanish. Anyway, she would then go off to the big, big world for a while to work (NGO work) or further her education, and return to us in Ajijic. She is always thrilled to be back--the first week. She goes in the pool, she walks around and buys fresh fruits and iced coffees, and plays with the pets in the garden. And then, she is absolutely over it, the isolation. But that is because she hasn't formed any deep friendships here. 

At least our daughter is at the age when she can use dating apps like Tinder, and she has met some nice, young men from affluent and educated families in Guadalajara and Mexico City. They have all been bilingual and well-traveled. Each and every one of them has attended private, expensive, bilingual schools in the "big city", like the American School, etc. where SATs and IB programs are offered.  So that option exists--for a price. Like $8,000-$12,000 USD a year.

Another would be to have your daughter visit a few of these private schools and ask her opinion on the matter. She can always board during the week and visit you on weekends, Lakeside. 

I think if your daughter is a loner type, or is already miserable in her current life situation, or has no friends, or is a misfit who thrives on cultural challenges, she would do okay. But if she is your "average" American teen it would be a risky move indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, kimanjome said:

 

Another would be to have your daughter visit a few of these private schools and ask her opinion on the matter. She can always board during the week and visit you on weekends, Lakeside. 

I think if your daughter is a loner type, or is already miserable in her current life situation, or has no friends, or is a misfit who thrives on cultural challenges, she would do okay. But if she is your "average" American teen it would be a risky move indeed.

 

 

Ouch ! 

 

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No, sorry, just very busy. Thanks for all the great responses. The summer before my senior year, my family moved, and to this day I remember how I thought my life was over! My daughter is a Junior and is really into music and the HS band. She is Band Manager, plays 4 instruments and has a good chance of being drum major her senior year, not to mention the Jazz band and Concert band. Looks like we are going to take over my older daughter's  (she is 42) upstairs when our house sales and we are coming down in Nov. to look at houses. We are going to show her around The University of Guadalajara and I hope something interests her. But, most important, is that she finds a friend or two. You know how important that is to teenagers. I'm not worried about gang/bad association influences, she has a pretty good head on her shoulders and we have all that stuff here in the suburbs of Dallas. The short of the matter is that we want her to finish HS here, so we will be back and forth quite a bit to Lake Chapala and Dallas. We also have a three yr old grandson that we want to spend time with! My plan is to buy a truck and enclosed trailer in Guad. and make a few trips, over several months. Still trying to figure out what to do with my two wienee dogs and one Maltese. Might just pay a coyote to bring them over, easier than dealing with the border agents. We are so excited about this move and the chance to make new friends. My wife loves gardening and decorating and wants to learn to play the piano. I play flamenco guitar and hope to sit on my butt all day and play in a bar. Hopefully, in Paracho I can get my own label of guitars to sell on the internet. That's who we are, thanks for all the information!

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We cross 2 borders (Can/US, US/Mexico) twice a year in our car, and have done for eight years.  Sixteen crossings.  Not a single border agent has asked to see our 2 dogs' papers.  Only one has even commented about the dogs, in their crates in the back seat, at all.  Of course, we have their papers (the law for each country only requires up to date rabies shots, though it is prudent to have all shots up to date, and perhaps a certificate of good health, available through any vet, just in case.)  Bring your pets; they will be less stressed.

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  • 2 months later...

When we came down we had 3 mastiffs and 3 cats and we had zero problems with the border agents.. take the dogs with you . Do not forget their kennels, it helps when you are looking for a room  in a hotel.. What we did , we came n two cars and we left the dogs n a kennel Lakeside when we arrived 

Three little dogs are zero problems with 2 people.while we were waiting for house to be available. Have all the papers ready,They only check for rabies  and would not come near the dogs..

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  • 1 month later...

I feel the need to respond to this post considering all the negative responses. 

For context: I lived in Ajijic until I was 6, then moved to the US. I recently moved back (I'm now 26) and reconnected with many friends I had here in Ajijic; They are now engineers, lawyers, on the way to become doctors, etc. Although it will be difficult for your daughter to adjust, there are PLENTY of amazing opportunities for her here and the private education is often better than in the US. GDL is known as the "Mexican Silicon Valley," in fact. Most of the kids her age will be bilingual by this point. I know a handful of teens here that speak English as a FIRST language because, as you know, this is largely a US/Canadian community and therefore, many parents/grandparents are from the North. But I really have to stress how amazing the education can be here. I feel confident enough to say that the friends I have here are better educated (often bi or tri lingual) and generally more successful than my classmates in the US (all from the same generation).   

I saw many posts claiming that the youth here are involved in drugs/other unfortunate activities and I must say that's untrue. Of course, it does happen. But the kids that are involved in that often don't have any/many opportunities, parents, or are required to help their family with the bills. Typically, those kids drop out of school before they even learn to read/write in Spanish, therefore they don't have other great job opportunities and get caught up in what they think is "easy" money. It's a sad situation, but by no means are "all" the local kids associated in that nonsense. It's highly unlikely gringo kids, that don't speak Spanish, would be welcome into that world.  

I also saw comments about Ajijic not being the place for "a Caucasian teen," which I feel is a pretty misinformed comment. Mexicans come in EVERY color, especially in Jalisco. This is due to all the European, Spanish, US, Canadian, etc. influence we have in the area. Your daughter will not stand out any more than any other teenager, especially in Ajijic because the locals know this area to be flooded with expats. More likely, people will assume she's Mexican first. Just teach her some street smarts and there's really nothing to worry about other than the language barrier/making friends immediately.

In fact, my mother and 15 y/o brother will be moving here this summer. We have similar concerns for him, it will be difficult and will push his boundaries but I think it's an INCREDIBLE opportunity, one I wish I had when I was a teen. To live in a country so rich in culture, learn a second language, etc. etc. etc., will be an experience like none other. Your daughter will come out stronger and with more life experience than most her age and I think that's priceless. 

I hope this is a little more encouraging than the other posts, there are two sides to every coin! Being closer to your daughter's generation, I see things much differently and I'm excited for her! If anything, this isn't the place for 20-30 somethings. I'll vouch for that, haha!

 

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12 minutes ago, daniarte said:

If anything, this isn't the place for 20-30 somethings. I'll vouch for that, haha!

 

Interesting, thanks for sharing.

So what brought you back, especially since your comment about 20-30 yo's?

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21 hours ago, pappysmarket said:

Interesting, thanks for sharing.

So what brought you back, especially since your comment about 20-30 yo's?

Long story short, I have my Canadian grandmother here in Ajijic (she's been here for 45 yrs) and my dad is a Mexican from GDL. His family is quite large (he's 1 of 9), so I have a huge family here that I wasn't raised around. I returned this summer on vacation, fell in love with it and decided to stay to reconnect with my roots/culture. Don't get me wrong, I love the Ajijic/Chapala area and I'm grateful to be here, it's an entirely different world from my hometown of Sedona, AZ. But, I've been here about 7 months and it has been very difficult to meet people in Ajijic around my age and there aren't many opportunities for young professionals. But I enjoy it a lot and everyday it seems more like home, but most of my social life is in GDL now. 

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