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Michael Ray

Any Teenagers and Young People?

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7 hours ago, slainte39 said:

Just couldn´t be any worse could it, and I´m sure you have this teenager pegged perfectly.   I don´t know how anyone could go against your knowledgeable and astute advice so I will just defer to your expertise and retire to my shithole where there aren´t any young people……..of consequence.

What more can you say to someone like that. Happy to not have to deal with her in real time. By the way some of us older than dirt and on their last legs like me enjoy the majority of friends here not foreign peers but Mexicans between the ages 20-50.

 

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11 hours ago, mudgirl said:

This has zero to do with the original post. Light skin and non-Hispanic names have nothing to do with it. Teenagers' social life does. Kids that age are very clique-y. If you think some new girl, who can't even speak the language is going to be welcomed into the fold, invited to hang out with the others, invited to their parties, you have no understanding of those dynamics. If she's pretty, the guys will be interested and the "popular" girls will shun her and make her life miserable- the last thing they want is more competition. In these days of cyber-bullying, that can be the stuff of which teenage suicides arise.

No one said it's the pits of hell. If the girl thought it was a great, fun idea, no problem. She doesn't. So thats a problem and she WILL see it as the pits of hell if she's forced to move.

Do you know what good parenting is?

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51 minutes ago, Lily H said:

There are different styles of good parenting. Kids are different so parenting styles are different.

Mudgirl raised 3 daughters if I remember right. She not only knows what a good parenting is and she has done it.

The AP is capable of making their own informed decision after getting opinions from many angles.
 

In simplest terminology the parent is in charge not the child. Of course there are many dynamics and methodologies but that one is the key to good parenting. Mudgirl seems to think otherwise.

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11 hours ago, dichosalocura said:

My opinion is.....snip...............

She will either hate it here and hate you, but will thank you 10 years down the road for bringing here down here or she will love it straight off the bat.  

That is, IMO, a good description of 'every' 16 yo girl (now I'll get marked as sexist) that I have ever been around, including my 2 many years ago.  That's not an indictment as much as it is just an acknowledgement of what is going on 'within' for teenagers, and these days it is like that in spades.  They generally 'come out the other end' adjusted and likable.   YMMV

 

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7 hours ago, Lily H said:

There are different styles of good parenting. Kids are different so parenting styles are different.

Mudgirl raised 3 daughters if I remember right. She not only knows what a good parenting is and she has done it.

The AP is capable of making their own informed decision after getting opinions from many angles.
 

Did she raise them in Mexico?  She seems awfully bitter, angry, pessimistic, and negative about this subject for someone who is just a casual observer of foreign teenage girls in Mexico as opposed to someone who has actually lived through the experience. If she did have this bad experience, then i feel sorry for her but as someone who did have a daughter arrive here from the US at age 16 without a mother, that is totally opposite of what i experienced. Three years of Prepa in Chapala and 4 years at Iteso in Guad. without a problem, other than losing one semester at the beginning of Prepa to learn and hone the skills of speaking Spanish and orientation in general.

I suppose if I exuded the "feeling" I was living in a shithole place filled with old people that it wouldn´t have  been much fun for her,  but Mexico is too vibrant and with too many facets for us to have ever fallen into that mode of thinking.  You can´t even come close to doing or imagining all the things and activities there are for young people (and old) in this country and 25 years later were still doing them and feel that way, .but now with grandchildren.

There were three American girls who graduated the same year with my daughter from the Prepa in Chapala, all graduated and received diplomas from various universities and one even has a Doctorate and is a professor at a university in Minnesota, USA.

So I´m not going to stand by and let people rail on about how terrible bringing a teenage girl to Mexico WILL BE.

Could be? maybe……... Will be?  not necessarily

 

 

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17 hours ago, El Menudo said:

So, Michael Ray, what are you thinking now?

So, Michael Ray, I hope you absorb the good, the bad, and not just the ugly.

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If the OP is still around...

I was moved all over the world growing up, "thrown" into a completely different language school etc, but I was a lot younger than 16 which helped. 

If you can get your daughter into an English speaking school here it will greatly increase the chances of success and worth a try. If it doesn't work out, move back.

Definitely recommend a visit with your daughter to any school you might consider before committing to the move. Enrolling her into a Mexican school if she doesn't speak Spanish is probably too much of a culture shock.

I'm a graduate of the American School in GDL, a huge class of 15

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13 hours ago, happyjillin said:

Do you know what good parenting is?

What kind of question is that? I think I did a reasonably good job considering all of my daughters are functioning members of society with no drug or alcohol problems, happy marriages of their own, and all successful in their chosen careers. What I do know about good parenting is that it changes constantly and is subjective, not some objective set of rules. As our children learn from us, we also learn from them. And parenting needs to change as the child grows. A 5 year old has to do whatever their parents want because they are 5. If one uses that approach with 16 year old, it simply doesn't work , unless you want that child to run away from home, rebel in ways that are detrimental to her, or grow estranged from their parents because the parents don't take the16 year old's thoughts and feelings into consideration.

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2 hours ago, ea93105 said:

If the OP is still around...

I was moved all over the world growing up, "thrown" into a completely different language school etc, but I was a lot younger than 16 which helped. 

If you can get your daughter into an English speaking school here it will greatly increase the chances of success and worth a try. If it doesn't work out, move back.

Definitely recommend a visit with your daughter to any school you might consider before committing to the move. Enrolling her into a Mexican school if she doesn't speak Spanish is probably too much of a culture shock.

I'm a graduate of the American School in GDL, a huge class of 15

i have some close friends, who are Mexican, that has daughter enrolled at the American  School and they are quite satisfied with the quality of education there.  Their primary reason was to gain diversity of relationships with  other nationalities, but feel the curriculum quality is an added plus.  It´s more expensive for Mexicans than Americans though.

The International School here at the lake has some American and Canadian students, as well as , a lot of English speaking Mexican students. A Canadian family is quite´pleased with that institution as well.

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I wonder Michael Ray, if a quick visit with your daughter in tow might be appropriate. Perhaps her input would make her feel like a part of the process and, she might even like it??

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18 hours ago, callejera said:

My parents moved me to Mexico City at age 11 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

11 is still a good age to integrate well.

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12 hours ago, ea93105 said:

 

I was moved all over the world growing up, "thrown" into a completely different language school etc, but I was a lot younger than 16 which helped. 

…...snip

That is a key...... being younger helps . No problem for younger kids. They love it.  16-17 is a difficult age.

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On ‎9‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 6:48 AM, happyjillin said:

Do you know what good parenting is?

What an odd and cynical thing to say to a lady who successfully raised 3 daughters. I would think she has tons of experience. Do you?

 

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On ‎9‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 6:45 AM, happyjillin said:

What more can you say to someone like that. Happy to not have to deal with her in real time. By the way some of us older than dirt and on their last legs like me enjoy the majority of friends here not foreign peers but Mexicans between the ages 20-50.

 

Completely irrelevant and immaterial to OP's case.

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The question is are they other teenagers her age.. yes they are  and if you want same class go to the private schools.. after that it is up to the parents and the girl to make their own life. Every girl is different and every parent is different. It is theor life and none of our business.

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On 9/6/2019 at 5:13 PM, slainte39 said:

Did she raise them in Mexico?  She seems awfully bitter, angry, pessimistic, and negative about this subject for someone who is just a casual observer of foreign teenage girls in Mexico as opposed to someone who has actually lived through the experience. 

 

 

Are you a psychologist now? If so, you've failed in your diagnosis. I am quite far from angry, bitter or pessimistic. I'm a realist. Nor am I just a "casual observer of foreign teenage girls in Mexico." 

Whether I raised my daughters in Mexico or not is immaterial- I've had scores of years raising and dealing with teenage girls, my own and many others. I know that no matter what nationality they are or where they live, their peer group, their friends, their school, their extracurricular activities are their life. Uprooting them at the age of 16, unless they are open to it, will not go well. The OP wasn't theoretical, so I wasn't speaking to a situation where parents simply want to move to Mexico with their kids- that's okay to do with an 11 or 12 year old, who even if they are originally against it, will more often than not, quickly adjust and soon be speaking the language. But a 16 year old is different- and he said his daughter doesn't want to go. 

3 of my grandkids are half Mexican- 2 of them teenagers. So I'm not just some gringo who sits back and has no first hand experience with how teenage life goes here or wherever. And I am friends with many families who brought their kids here to live when the kids were relatively young, just as I used to pull my girls out of school for up to a month or more when they were as old as 12 to travel in Mexico, which they loved. But neither I nor anyone I know dragged an unwilling 16 year old along.

BTW, I have zero problem with the fact that others may not agree with my views on this or any other topic. But it has never occurred to me to speak to the character, personality or psychological state of someone I've never met, simply because I disagree with their opinion. 

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4 minutes ago, mudgirl said:

Uprooting them at the age of 16, unless they are open to it, will not go well.

But a 16 year old is different- and he said his daughter doesn't want to go. 

Raised two teen girls myself too and what you say is the fact.

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Yes the OP said she did not want to go so it is not a good beginning... When  was 16 my father was offered a job on some island in the middle of nowhere, and I could not wait to go   , my parents were the ones who chickened out,  at the end.. If the girl doe not want to go  it is not going to be fun or easy.....

In Europe we do a lot of student exchange so kids are more accostmed at living in different places and there is less social life and serious dating at that age or they used to be less I should say.. The American girls of that age were the worst.. always crying for their boyfriends, missing their friends and so on.. We could not believe how spoiled they were, here they were in Paris crying for their boyfriends.. 

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12 minutes ago, bmh said:

The American girls of that age were the worst.. always crying for their boyfriends, missing their friends and so on.. We could not believe how spoiled they were, here they were in Paris crying for their boyfriends.. 

bmh- Did you by any chance read " Eat, Love, Pray"?  I couldn't believe that book was so popular and got so many rave reviews. The woman goes to Europe and seemingly spends almost the entire time navel gazing and lamenting her split up with her boyfriend in the States, even though she was the one who broke up with him. I found the whole book insufferable, I just kept reading it to try to figure out why people liked it (I never did). What a whiner. And she was much older than 16.

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On 9/2/2019 at 9:36 PM, Michael Ray said:

My wife and I have a 16 yr old daughter, and she really is upset about us making plans to move to Lake Chapala. You know how important friends are to teenagers. Just wondering, anyone know if there are many High School age kids in the area? If she could meet a few, it would really help her over this trauma! I really know how she feels, my Dad moved me from a large city to a small rural town my senior year. I thought my world had ended. Any advice, observations or experiences appreciated!

Too bad your daughter probably started the new school year . You could have come down for a few weeks  to   Check it out ..with her . Perhaps you could come down during her winter break from school.

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4 minutes ago, Xena said:

The OP appears to have lost interest in the thread.

May have lost interest in moving altogether.

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24 minutes ago, pappysmarket said:

May have lost interest in moving altogether.

Very likely. 😁

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