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Michael Ray

Any Teenagers and Young People?

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1 hour ago, El Menudo said:

You are shallow and offer lame advice.  No teen would EVER want to live lakeside.

Now that is definitely an opinion and not a fact.  Nothing shallow about me or my family, who I doubt you even know. 

Do you know all the "teens" at lakeside to be able to make such a definitive statement.  You would have to know an awful lot about a lot of family relationships, priorities, and goals, to be able to say "no teen would ever want to live lakeside".

My opinion is,,,,,,you don´t have that much knowledge of everyone here to be able to come to that conclusion.

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We have 2 happy / healthy teenagers here. They go to schools that are safe and have minimal drugs / alcohol / bullying (much much less than when I was in high school). They and their friends are fully bilingual and are just as apt to speak to each other in English as Spanish. They have fun. Some kids will adapt, some won't, just like anywhere. 

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To the OP, one thing to consider is your daughter's plans for college. Will her Mexican HS grades and activities be sufficient ? As aformer teacher, I suggest that you look into the American School Foundation in Guadalajara. You could still move to the "area" and live in GDL until your daughter is ready for college. AT that point, you and your wife can move to the Lake Chaala region.

As others have noted, it really isn't my business what you do with your lives, but I would strongly remind you of the vulnerability of young, Caucasian girls in Mexico. They often stand out and can feel like targets. At least in GDL at the American School, she won't be the only one around. There would be more afterschool activities on a par with what you would find in the US. 

Laske Chapala is like the tiny little town in the Deep South that I grew up in, only with lots more old folks ! Not much to keep teenagers occupied, horrible driving practices, plenty opportunities for things to go wrong for a teen out of place.

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2 hours ago, thomashellyer said:

We have 2 happy / healthy teenagers here. They go to schools that are safe and have minimal drugs / alcohol / bullying (much much less than when I was in high school). They and their friends are fully bilingual and are just as apt to speak to each other in English as Spanish. They have fun. Some kids will adapt, some won't, just like anywhere. 

You did not moved to Mexico when you kids were teenagers Thomas. Seems like you live Lakeside for long time.  Completely different story. Your kids grew up in Mexican society.  Your comment has no relevance to OP's situation. When I look around I see a tremendous cultural difference of 16 years old  girls (and boys as well) between Lakeside and up North where we live during summer. I can point them out if people do not see them.

 My comments don't mean to be negative. We love Mexican family dynamics but it takes time and knowledge of the language to understand it. Very different than what most of us grew up with. We have oodles of lovely Mexican friends and prefer to rent our winter stay from Mexican owners or managers. (for many reasons). Despite of all this I would not bring a 16 years old daughter to live Lakeside permanently without her understanding it..(the good and bad). . I still maintain...... If you want to  move to Mexico with kids do it when they are very young. They learn fast and perhaps will teach "you" some aspects of getting integrated in the society and being less critical of their ways.

All the best.

 

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" She was identified as the property of a gang member"

Her parents should have told her the rules here are different.. even speaking to a boy you have no interest in  can be a sign that you are sweet on a guy and if you play with the wrong crowd you can get burnt.. Not all blond girls will be subject to this especially if they do not speak or look at gang members.. Friendliness can be taken the wrong way..  Latin girls do not look or speak to the guy from the wrong side of town f they do not want trouble.. That is an important thing to know.

I come from a Latin culture and when I was visiting my grand-árents down south  we never even looked at the boy we did not want to have anything to do with. No point trying to be nice, it does not work. This girl either went out with this boy or was nice to him without meaning anything.. and problems followed.

Again down south in France , I went out with a gypsy and I was marked as his property and no other boy would go near me, they knew it would have meant trouble.. That is the way it is in some cultures.. The gypsy commited suicide so that was the end of that but that was playing with fire. That is what teenagers do...

 

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6 hours ago, thomashellyer said:

We have 2 happy / healthy teenagers here. They go to schools that are safe and have minimal drugs / alcohol / bullying (much much less than when I was in high school). They and their friends are fully bilingual and are just as apt to speak to each other in English as Spanish. They have fun. Some kids will adapt, some won't, just like anywhere. 

Oh my gosh.  I missed the similarities!  Best of luck to the OP and family.  Patti

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What is up with the racist sounding comments suggesting that caucasian girls would not feel comfortable or be safe at Lakeside?  Last time I checked, a good large number of the Mexican children and teens are what I would consider to be caucasian whites with blue eyes to boot.  Sure, there aren't many that look Scandinavian, but many are of European ancestry in this part of México.  Locally, they are affectionately called güeros and güeras, and they seem to be doing just fine, living comfortably and safely along the lake.

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6 hours ago, dichosalocura said:

What is up with the racist sounding comments suggesting that caucasian girls would not feel comfortable or be safe at Lakeside?  Last time I checked, a good large number of the Mexican children and teens are what I would consider to be caucasian whites with blue eyes to boot.  Sure, there aren't many that look Scandinavian, but many are of European ancestry in this part of México.  Locally, they are affectionately called güeros and güeras, and they seem to be doing just fine, living comfortably and safely along the lake.

I wondered when we would get the "race card" played. Dependable reply when the majority doesn't think the way you do. Another thing for the OP to look out for here at Lakeside. We gotum.

 

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13 hours ago, cstone said:

To the OP, one thing to consider is your daughter's plans for college. Will her Mexican HS grades and activities be sufficient ? As aformer teacher, I suggest that you look into the American School Foundation in Guadalajara. You could still move to the "area" and live in GDL until your daughter is ready for college. AT that point, you and your wife can move to the Lake Chaala region.

As others have noted, it really isn't my business what you do with your lives, but I would strongly remind you of the vulnerability of young, Caucasian girls in Mexico. They often stand out and can feel like targets. At least in GDL at the American School, she won't be the only one around. There would be more afterschool activities on a par with what you would find in the US. 

Laske Chapala is like the tiny little town in the Deep South that I grew up in, only with lots more old folks ! Not much to keep teenagers occupied, horrible driving practices, plenty opportunities for things to go wrong for a teen out of place.

Claptrap nonsense. I have friends who moved here when their daughter was 12, major blonde and blue eyed, and she went to school here and after that enrolled in a University in Canada which have higher standards than USA colleges. Your Post is not based on real knowledge of any sort.

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1 hour ago, HookEmHorns said:

I wondered when we would get the "race card" played. Dependable reply when the majority doesn't think the way you do. Another thing for the OP to look out for here at Lakeside. We gotum.

 

In all honesty, you need to look up the definition of playing the race card, I believe two members of this forum have already beat me to it by blatantly stating that Caucasian girls would not be safe here at Lake Chapala or that they would not feel comfortable here.  Go back and reread the previous posts.  I just found those comments ridiculous and repulsive to say the least.  Even though the güeros may make up only 15 or so percent of the local Mexican population, that still equates to thousands of Caucasian Mexicans living on the North shore and I seriously doubt they feel unsafe and uncomfortable living here.  Please, explain this, I didn't quite understand: "Dependable reply when the majority doesn't think the way you do."   I think well over half the commentators agreed that it is a swell idea to bring a child or teen down to live and expose them to the wonderful Mexican culture. 

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A 16 year old girl is well on her way to becoming an adult, even though she is still a child and subject to her parent's decisions. Unless there are extenuating circumstances that we are unaware of, I can't imagine why a parent would make a decision to move to a foreign country which speaks a different language with an unwilling 16 year old who only has another year left of high school. All of you saying that it will be good for her to experience another culture are missing the point. She's not 8- she's 16. Why would a parent insist on taking their 16 year old away from her friends and her life and her school? Those things are HUGE for a 16 year old. If she's smart and adaptable, she will no doubt find a way to make the best of it if forced, but that doesn't mean she'll like it or be a joy to live with. I agree with the poster who said she will ever forgive the parents if she is forced to do this. To me, quite frankly, it borders on emotional abuse.

I say this as someone who raised 3 daughters and took them on many foreign journeys when they were younger. But I'd never force that on a 16 year old, unless it were somehow a matter of life or death.

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1 hour ago, happyjillin said:

Claptrap nonsense. I have friends who moved here when their daughter was 12, major blonde and blue eyed, and she went to school here and after that enrolled in a University in Canada which have higher standards than USA colleges. Your Post is not based on real knowledge of any sort.

12 isn't 16. Not even close.

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58 minutes ago, dichosalocura said:

In all honesty, you need to look up the definition of playing the race card, I believe two members of this forum have already beat me to it by blatantly stating that Caucasian girls would not be safe here at Lake Chapala or that they would not feel comfortable here.  Go back and reread the previous posts.  I just found those comments ridiculous and repulsive to say the least.  Even though the güeros may make up only 15 or so percent of the local Mexican population, that still equates to thousands of Caucasian Mexicans living on the North shore and I seriously doubt they feel unsafe and uncomfortable living here.  Please, explain this, I didn't quite understand: "Dependable reply when the majority doesn't think the way you do."   I think well over half the commentators agreed that it is a swell idea to bring a child or teen down to live and expose them to the wonderful Mexican culture. 

Couldn´t agree more, as someone who has produced a family over several generations of  "pale faced Mexicans".  Has never been a problem and can´t believe what some people have written on this thread.  You would think they were dragging them to the pits of hell and makes me wonder if they live here, and if they do, what are they doing here.

Light skin and non Hispanic names are NOT a problem.

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12 hours ago, dichosalocura said:

In all honesty, you need to look up the definition of playing the race card, I believe two members of this forum have already beat me to it by blatantly stating that Caucasian girls would not be safe here at  to sail in it.  Lake Chapala or that they would not feel comfortable here.  Go back and reread the previous posts.  I just found those comments ridiculous and repulsive to say the least.  Even though the güeros may make up only 15 or so percent of the local Mexican population, that still equates to thousands of Caucasian Mexicans living on the North shore and I seriously doubt they feel unsafe and uncomfortable living here.  Please, explain this, I didn't quite understand: "Dependable reply when the majority doesn't think the way you do."   I think well over half the commentators agreed that it is a swell idea to bring a child or teen down to live and expose them to the wonderful Mexican culture. 

I am sorry ditch....but you completely missed the point of this conversation .....( and few others). No matter what skin the girls have, they were born and grew up in Mexican society. Every society has its unwritten rules and at 16 they know the ropes how to sail in it. (most likely) The OP's daughter will not have that luxury.

Any white faced (or black faced) kid coming here at very young age will  be well adjusted at age of 16. . Throwing a 16 years old girl without a language skills into a different culture is asking for trouble. Who will teach her what is right and wrong in her new surroundings?. Probably not her parents if they do not speak Spanish and are not familiar with Mexican culture ( I  could be wrong) They will most likely need a help to navigate the system and seek advise on local boards as so many new people here. How about if she choses  wrong friends?   How about if she gets pregnant at this very young age? She does not have an extended family here to take care of her and her baby. There are just so many things that can go wrong at her age.

Of course I am just talking in general terms without any knowledge of OP situation. They only asked about teenage friends for their 16 years old daughter because they want to move to Lakeside. If she fights the idea ...my feelings are that it will be an uphill battle for them.

Again ...move to Mexico with kids, by all means...... it is a good thing for them......  but do it when they are young..... and I guarantee they will love it.

Thank you mudgirl, you got it . Most is just blah, blah.... Hugs.

 

 

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13 hours ago, slainte39 said:

Couldn´t agree more, as someone who has produced a family over several generations of  "pale faced Mexicans".  Has never been a problem and can´t believe what some people have written on this thread.  You would think they were dragging them to the pits of hell and makes me wonder if they live here, and if they do, what are they doing here.

Light skin and non Hispanic names are NOT a problem.

I understand your feelings Slainte39..... but you missed the important point.... the essence of the situation. It has nothing to do with loving Mexico.

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3 hours ago, Islander said:

I understand your feelings Slainte39..... but you missed the important point.... the essence of the situation. It has nothing to do with loving Mexico.

OK. so even if I missed an "important point"???, the fact of the matter remains that this isn´t the hell hole for a 16 year old that you, and some others, are making it out to be.  The over dramatizing of her objections makes for a conversation that over states the potential damage that is going to be done to her.  Now, she may turn out bad, she may never like it, but I believe the odds of that happening here under their conditions are no greater than that "something" going wrong in a place where she was born and never left.

A static position is no guarantee of a successful life anymore than a dynamic one is of failure.

As I tell my family, remember what Nietzsche said, and most of the time they find it to be true.

 

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7 hours ago, Islander said:

I am sorry ditch....but you completely missed the point of this conversation .....( and few others). No matter what skin the girls have, they were born and grew up in Mexican society. Every society has its unwritten rules and at 16 they know the ropes how to sail in it. (most likely) The OP's daughter will not have that luxury.

Any white faced (or black faced) kid coming here at very young age will  be well adjusted at age of 16. . Throwing a 16 years old girl without a language skills into a different culture is asking for trouble. Who will teach her what is right and wrong in her new surroundings?. Probably not her parents if they do not speak Spanish and are not familiar with Mexican culture ( I  could be wrong) They will most likely need a help to navigate the system and seek advise on local boards as so many new people here. How about if she choses  wrong friends?   How about if she gets pregnant at this very young age? She does not have an extended family here to take care of her and her baby. There are just so many things that can go wrong at her age.

Of course I am just talking in general terms without any knowledge of OP situation. They only asked about teenage friends for their 16 years old daughter because they want to move to Lakeside. If she fights the idea ...my feelings are that it will be an uphill battle for them.

Again ...move to Mexico with kids, by all means...... it is a good thing for them......  but do it when they are young..... and I guarantee they will love it.

Thank you mudgirl, you got it . Most is just blah, blah.... Hugs.

 

 

Blah blah blah describes your post perfectly

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21 hours ago, slainte39 said:

Couldn´t agree more, as someone who has produced a family over several generations of  "pale faced Mexicans".  Has never been a problem and can´t believe what some people have written on this thread.  You would think they were dragging them to the pits of hell and makes me wonder if they live here, and if they do, what are they doing here.

Light skin and non Hispanic names are NOT a problem.

This has zero to do with the original post. Light skin and non-Hispanic names have nothing to do with it. Teenagers' social life does. Kids that age are very clique-y. If you think some new girl, who can't even speak the language is going to be welcomed into the fold, invited to hang out with the others, invited to their parties, you have no understanding of those dynamics. If she's pretty, the guys will be interested and the "popular" girls will shun her and make her life miserable- the last thing they want is more competition. In these days of cyber-bullying, that can be the stuff of which teenage suicides arise.

No one said it's the pits of hell. If the girl thought it was a great, fun idea, no problem. She doesn't. So thats a problem and she WILL see it as the pits of hell if she's forced to move.

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Sorry...I’m with mudgirl on this one ...remembering  my 16 year old daughter oooh ,tantamount to child abuse , probably closely followed by parent abuse  for an extended period of time .

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49 minutes ago, Ian Greenwood said:

Sorry...I’m with mudgirl on this one ...remembering  my 16 year old daughter oooh ,tantamount to child abuse , probably closely followed by parent abuse  for an extended period of time .

Yeah, can you imagine how much fun these parents' new life in Mexico, trying to settle in, take care of all their paperwork, figure out where things are and how things work, would be with a sulking, angry 16 year old, either not speaking to them, stomping about or raging about them bringing her to some "s**thole full of old people" and the unavailability of her favorite foods and how even the milk tastes weird? I can just hear it now. If she's the quiet type, she'll just hole up in her room, depressed. It was hard enough dealing with teenage angst without disrupting their life, their friends, their school, their favorite activities. 

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On 9/2/2019 at 7:36 PM, Michael Ray said:

My wife and I have a 16 yr old daughter, and she really is upset about us making plans to move to Lake Chapala. You know how important friends are to teenagers. Just wondering, anyone know if there are many High School age kids in the area? If she could meet a few, it would really help her over this trauma! I really know how she feels, my Dad moved me from a large city to a small rural town my senior year. I thought my world had ended. Any advice, observations or experiences appreciated!

So, Michael Ray, what are you thinking now?

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1 hour ago, mudgirl said:

Yeah, can you imagine how much fun these parents' new life in Mexico, trying to settle in, take care of all their paperwork, figure out where things are and how things work, would be with a sulking, angry 16 year old, either not speaking to them, stomping about or raging about them bringing her to some "s**thole full of old people" and the unavailability of her favorite foods and how even the milk tastes weird? I can just hear it now. If she's the quiet type, she'll just hole up in her room, depressed. It was hard enough dealing with teenage angst without disrupting their life, their friends, their school, their favorite activities. 

Just couldn´t be any worse could it, and I´m sure you have this teenager pegged perfectly.   I don´t know how anyone could go against your knowledgeable and astute advice so I will just defer to your expertise and retire to my shithole where there aren´t any young people……..of consequence.

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My opinion is and will always be to bring her down, let her spend a month or so in the area, show her how cool and awesome life is down here.  Visit the local Preparatory schools, there are many private ones with high school age kids with a good healthy hand full of expat kids attending, go visit the big high school in Chapala.  Spend time on the facebook pages for the young people in Chapala.  Maybe, she will hate it.  Maybe, she will learn to love this area like so many others.  There seriously are so many activities to offer down here.  You are not moving to a small country town in North Carolina (hey that's where I am from)  this area is actually really fun and cool!  Who ever said that a teen would die from boredom down here ain't been to rural America before.  This area is pretty cool and the big city of Guadalajara is just 45 mins down the road.  Every child is different.  She will either hate it here and hate you, but will thank you 10 years down the road for bringing here down here or she will love it straight off the bat.  

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