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ericandleslie

The science behind pettiness.

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i posted this because I see an awful lot of this in this forum and I think it's helpful to understand what's driving it. My goal is to understand it, forgive it in others when it pisses me off, and to recognize my own capacity for pettiness, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140627213331-6128092-the-petty-personality-psychtests-study-reveals-why-certain-people-tend-to-pick-fights

People who are petty appear to pick meaningless fights without provocation or reason, but this is actually not true,” explains Dr. Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “There are multiple underlying causes for their tendency to lash out at others, and our research has highlighted some of them. Argumentative people feel more than just anger or frustration. They experience a lot of complicated, variable emotions, and don’t know how to analyze and regulate them. They are less comfortable with emotions in general, and most importantly, they are less self-aware. This results in an exaggerated response to minor issues … it seems out of the blue or petty to others, but in reality, they are reacting to something very real that is bothering them; they just don’t realize what that really is.”

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That article is pretty much a puffy, pop psychology piece. I think it would help you to understand, and possibly forgive, the process of aging on the human brain. There hundreds of tiny blood vessels to the brain, many of them smaller than a hair. As we age they get clogged from the years of incomplete nutrition, but more importantly they get just get harder and shrink. What eventually happens, is that many seniors get to the point where the "fight or flight" reflexes are mostly uncontrollable. If you are offended, or a target of such impulses (mental and/or physical), remember this, and try not to let get to you. The only prevention I know of is heavy cardio exercise maybe 3 times a week - clean out the "pipes". Use it or lose it. ha ha - I'm quite the cliche spinner today!

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ericandleslie, I think your goals are commendable ones that perhaps we all should strive for.  I did not find this article a puff piece at all and don't assume that it was referring only to older people in its findings.  I clicked on the article itself and took the test and it was very interesting on several levels.  Thanks for sharing.

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12 minutes ago, Wookie said:

ericandleslie, I think your goals are commendable ones that perhaps we all should strive for.  I did not find this article a puff piece at all and don't assume that it was referring only to older people in its findings.  I clicked on the article itself and took the test and it was very interesting on several levels.  Thanks for sharing.

Thinking back over time:  It seems that pettiness occurred in grammar school, high school and on through the years into the place many us occupy now.  It's a matter of individual personality.  Some folks hone their Petty to a fine point.  Others reject the tendency in themselves and work to overcome it.  As in most things, it's a choice.  I'm almost convinced that the internet, which allows the hurling of turds from behind anonymous names, serves as an enabler for pettiness. After all, does it matter if someone is a lousy speller?  Do we need to correct him or her......really?  And so on.

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Guest bennie2

chillin: this is why i reccommed home aides, especially to answer the phone.   (scam problem see thread). pettiness? when someone resorts to spellcheck they lost the argument. ulitimate pettiness.

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2 hours ago, gringal said:

Thinking back over time:  It seems that pettiness occurred in grammar school, high school and on through the years into the place many us occupy now.  It's a matter of individual personality.  Some folks hone their Petty to a fine point.  Others reject the tendency in themselves and work to overcome it.  As in most things, it's a choice.  I'm almost convinced that the internet, which allows the hurling of turds from behind anonymous names, serves as an enabler for pettiness. After all, does it matter if someone is a lousy speller?  Do we need to correct him or her......really?  And so on.

"Argumentative people have low self-esteem (score of 56 vs. 77): In order to feel better about themselves, some people zero in on the shortcomings of others, ruthlessly pointing them out and picking on them. Behind many arrogant and antagonistic facades is a fragile self-esteem."

This point from the article sticks out as the main cause/symptom of antisocial personality disorder. It seems to me the people who have it are constantly offending others for no apparent reason and are not always telling the truth about themselves or others. They lack self respect and respect for others [and the truth]. IMO

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14 minutes ago, AlanMexicali said:

"Argumentative people have low self-esteem (score of 56 vs. 77): In order to feel better about themselves, some people zero in on the shortcomings of others, ruthlessly pointing them out and picking on them. Behind many arrogant and antagonistic facades is a fragile self-esteem."

This point from the article sticks out as the main cause/symptom of antisocial personality disorder. It seems to me the people who have it are constantly offending others for no apparent reason and are not always telling the truth about themselves or others. They lack sef respect and respect for others [and the truth]. IMO

I don't know about lacking self respect;  some seem like narcissists/ egomaniacs.  I do agree that they lack respect for others (and the truth), big time.

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9 minutes ago, gringal said:

I don't know about lacking self respect;  some seem like narcissists/ egomaniacs.  I do agree that they lack respect for others (and the truth), big time.

You are right. It was a poor choice of words. People with antisocial personaliy disorder can still like themselves [self respect] even though you can´t trust some of the things they say about themselves, events or others.

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28 minutes ago, gringal said:

I don't know about lacking self respect;  some seem like narcissists/ egomaniacs.  I do agree that they lack respect for others (and the truth), big time.

There is another local web board that attracts these types big time.  They fail to identify the underlying misunderstanding of the precipitating events and jump immediately to an anger reaction.   Many are chronically depressed alcoholics.

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Guest bennie2

many of the same people on this board as TOB. its all about them all of the time anytime. different opinion or life experience does not mean aurgumentative, but paraelle universe. most people on both boards cannot see beyound their own experience. btw, eric&leslie seem like nice people. 

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5 hours ago, CHILLIN said:

That article is pretty much a puffy, pop psychology piece. I think it would help you to understand, and possibly forgive, the process of aging on the human brain. There hundreds of tiny blood vessels to the brain, many of them smaller than a hair. As we age they get clogged from the years of incomplete nutrition, but more importantly they get just get harder and shrink. What eventually happens, is that many seniors get to the point where the "fight or flight" reflexes are mostly uncontrollable. If you are offended, or a target of such impulses (mental and/or physical), remember this, and try not to let get to you. The only prevention I know of is heavy cardio exercise maybe 3 times a week - clean out the "pipes". Use it or lose it. ha ha - I'm quite the cliche spinner today!

My mother used to say "My memory is not what it used to be so I can't remember all my enemies so I keep a written list."

Sadly, I'm getting the same way but I can't find my list.

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2 hours ago, Osoprehistorico said:

There is another local web board that attracts these types big time.  They fail to identify the underlying misunderstanding of the precipitating events and jump immediately to an anger reaction.   Many are chronically depressed alcoholics.

I think that is an incorrect and very hurtful thing to say about members of TOB.  Who the hell are you to be judge and jury suddenly?  Calling them chronically depressed alcoholics?   First of all, that is an insult to members of TOB, and also to people who suffer from chronic depression or anxiety disorders.   I find this board much more angry and prone to jumping to conclusions!

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I love when posters here attack TOB. Do they ever read the stuff here, including their own posts? The sniping, personal attacks, judgmental speculation about people they do not even know are just getting worse and worse.

It is difficult to believe a real estate company sponsors this board. If all I knew about lakeside came from reading this board I would never even visit, much less buy property here.

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"The world is full of small ignorances. We must all do our best to ignore them and thereby keep them small, don't you think?" From the charming novel "Major Pettigrew's Last Stand" by Helen Simonsen.

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Guest bennie2

suegarn you jest. i have seen many discussions on TOB about this board. once there were 4 or 5 related topics in the octagon. most of the vulgar unhinged comments (about 200) were about one of the mods here. seems he has power THERE too. they seem to be obsessed w/chapala.com. this board lives rent free in their heads. great PR! they just bring the business this way. dont you just love it?

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15 hours ago, AlanMexicali said:

You are right. It was a poor choice of words. People with antisocial personaliy disorder can still like themselves [self respect] even though you can´t trust some of the things they say about themselves, events or others.

 

We aren't supposed to be posting anything political and insulting the Short-Fingered Vulgarian will not be appreciated.

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Could it be the OP has a split personality? He/she does call herself/himself by two different names. Seriously folks, I don't think this board is about psychoanalyzing other posters.

Closed.

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