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Why do people leave?


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Regarding poverty: Living in Mexico I am able to feel, hear and see poverty close up. I can choose how to help, and do so directly instead of through some fund raising organization. For me, I feel more alive here. I know I am making a positive difference by living here. I have friends who have visited here once, but will not return because the poverty they observed in Ajijic made them uncomfortable. Of course, they could find examples of poverty in their own communities, but that can be easily avoided by just not going where the poor people live.

I am a better person having lived here. I am disappointed by the shallowness of my family and friends who do not want to see, touch or smell anything unpleasant in the world. I am sad for them.

You say it is disheartening. Over time, when you can see peoples lives change because of the help our expat community is giving, you feel encouraged. Getting involved in projects that provide jobs, opportunities and education.... priceless rewards.

Priceless rewards: Absolutely.

However, not in the same way as having paved streets and lunch at Nordstroms. :unsure:

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Maybe, for many (not for us), it sort of starts like this video "Moving to Mexico". This is especially true for Canadians, of whom the great majority have had great and happy experiences with the Mexicans they have met so far. This "buzz" lasts typically 7 to 10 years, then can feel the start of aging really starting to set in, and begin to miss the comfort foods, comfort resources, and comfort people left at home. They want to leave while they still have good memories of good times in Mexico.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9DV6UglMwM

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I was there 7 years and had earned my "degree in Mexico" education. But, I had things NOB that needed to be taken care of, so I left with the intention of returning in 18 months. I've been out 9 months and now as I look back into Mexico it's not the place I moved to in 2007, much has changed and is changing.

As I read the forums I'm reminded of the hassles of daily life in a country where I was viewed by the government, and police, as a "revenue source" to be milked regularly. I remember all too well the high cost of the CFE and the absolutely inexcusable incompetence and corruption where I was penalized for using more while NOB my cost per KWH drops as I use more and it's clean power, in 9 months never a single surge or brownout to burn out my equipment. My water is reliable and available 24/7 without filters or pressure pumps to fail. Pretty much anything I want or need can be bought online and in my possession within days and no worry about Aduana. My taxes are low, the roads? - my car thinks it's gone to heaven, I just made a trip across 5 states and the highways were all good to excellent . I drink Coke Zero or diet, about half the cost of Costco MX, cat food about half the cost.

Yes, some things here are more expensive, but it's almost spooky quiet, no barking dogs (coyotes yes, but no dogs). The "nanny state" is apparent, oppressive, offensive and growing NOB, but like things in MX, you grow a callous and learn to deal with it. I live a simple life so my requirements are few and simple, I live in a semi-rural area with friendly people and caring neighbors.

Do I miss MX? - yes, I miss the house I rented, the vibrant colors of MX, especially the weather, the flowers and greenery and I really really miss my gardener when it comes time to mow an acre and a half in the hot TX sun. Will I return as planned - I guess we'll see in 9 more months.

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Maybe, for many (not for us), it sort of starts like this video "Moving to Mexico". This is especially true for Canadians, of whom the great majority have had great and happy experiences with the Mexicans they have met so far. This "buzz" lasts typically 7 to 10 years, then can feel the start of aging really starting to set in, and begin to miss the comfort foods, comfort resources, and comfort people left at home. They want to leave while they still have good memories of good times in Mexico.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9DV6UglMwM

You're probably right for many who come here, but it would seem to be delusional expectations.

Life anywhere is not a movie or a peppy song. It's a daily experience. Gettin' old ain't for sissies, no matter where you are.

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If you ask the Real Estate folks they will say, primarily for health reasons, both the USA & CAD....as we do not have any compulsory process to state "our" reasons for leaving , you can speculate away..what did your (friend)(s) say when they left.

I would suggest that there may many issues of concern and that the "last" experience could be the straw that breaks the camels back. Be it medical or a break in, Maybe a car accident and hassle with the police, etc etc,or ever changing Mexican rules and regulation.

Animal road kill makes me upset, but it would not be the primary reason for leaving.

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If you ask the Real Estate folks they will say, primarily for health reasons, both the USA & CAD....as we do not have any compulsory process to state "our" reasons for leaving , you can speculate away..what did your (friend)(s) say when they left.

I would suggest that there may many issues of concern and that the "last" experience could be the straw that breaks the camels back. Be it medical or a break in, Maybe a car accident and hassle with the police, etc etc,or ever changing Mexican rules and regulation.

Animal road kill makes me upset, but it would not be the primary reason for leaving.

And furthermore, many people don't tell the truth about their reasons in order to avoid an argument from the other side of the issue.

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Funny, on the medical for me it's reverse. I went to a Dr. there and liked him and did fine. I have breathing problems so I use an inhaler, any pharmacia will sell one (or half a dozen I bought before I left) for a nominal amount. Here it's ALL prescription, so now I have to find a Medicare doc and get a prescription for an inhaler - or, make a border run to Acuna in a month or two to buy another half dozen.

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I think you wrote a very important word there: "want".

Ex-pats should stop fixating on what they WANT, and focus on what they NEED to make their lives happy.

Between Lakeside and Guadalajara, I can find 100% of what I need. Want will always leave you wanting.

If one can't modify one's expectations and be, at the very least, content with the pace of life here, the climate here, the cost of living here, then perhaps Mexico isn't where one should be.

And you can't blame Mexico for that.

Again we must go off topic. It never stops. The OP wanted reasons people leave and I gave some of ours. Not all, I can just imagine some of the useless comments that would show up if I did.

If you read the first part of my sentence it says need,so I inadvertently used the word want in the second part of the sentence.

But so what if I did say want. These were my reasons for leaving no one else's. None of which included the climate, cost of living or pace of life. But so what if it did, they would be my reasons.

Nothing was blamed on Mexico - we have been here over 8 years and now want a change. My reaons.

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i won't be leavin' any time soon...but here is why i would if i did.

1. corrupt police

2. lying, from top to bottom

3. the music sucks

4. baby making as national pastime

5. little or no regard for mother earth

6. wicked gossip

7. lousy local doctors

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OK. On topic.....

Most people I know who have left have done so for medical reasons. They have better insurance NOB, and do not have the money to pay for their health insurance here.

I know several people who left, because they were frustrated with the challenges of living in a foreign Country. They just felt it was too difficult and were overwhelmed. They have gone back and write from time to time about how easy life is now, but costly.

I do not know about the rest of you out there, but I see things as being much easier now than six years ago. I hear of fewer break ins as well, among acquaintances and friends. Most friends are concerned about healthcare costs.

I agree. It is getting easier to live here. The power hardly ever goes off and a modest investment has reduced our power bills to zero while doing something really positive for the environment (solar power). It is a lot easier to find stuff. I needed a new cabin air filter for my CRV. I walked into AutoZone, picked up the parts book, looked it up, got it off the shelf, paid for it and installed it in the parking lot (much more light there) all in the space of 15 minutes.

Now I understand we are going to have Amazon Mexico, that is certainly going to bring at least a measure of the convenience of on line shopping to us.

Dentists here are vastly superior to those NOB and a whole lot cheaper. We try and stay healthy so we don't need doctors much thus far. That could be an issue in time but the trend in health care NOB is not good while it is here IMO.

You just can't underestimate the freedom of a climate like this, you can come and go and do pretty much what you please without being very concerned with it. Year around!

Crime? Truth tell my experience of living in inner city Washington D.C. was great preparation for living here. We haven't had a lot of problem with having stuff taken, just a few small items and truth tell that wouldn't have happened had I not gotten sloppy.

The local cops are a lot less thieving than they used to be.

We love dealing with the many small shop keepers and restaurants here. Home maintenance is a snap once you know the right guys to call. Much easier and far, far cheaper than NOB.

I try to not even think about being in the position of having to go back up there. Just as soon call Dr. Kevorkian.

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Guest bennie2

MC, i cant imagine living in the "inner city" of wash DC. i have friends in capitol hill. you now live on a beautiful street. now if we can just get some action w/the rockclub near by.

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The Policia here are useless, but Docs and Medical care are great and cost only a fraction of NOB. Theft is an issue, but crimes against people are not. Property taxes are a small fraction of NOB, and the services and infrastructure show it, although I do like the garbage service. The education system and the power of the unions (teachers, PEMEX) suck. Free international calling is great. The weather is fabulous, the people are wonderful, and the culture fantastic. We think the positives outweigh the negatives.

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Noise? Has the incredibly loud noise in some neighborhoods driven people away?

Or itchy feet? As in, gotta mooove on down the road....

Reasons friends left -- I don't really understand but I think this is what made them move away from Lakeside:

  1. A couple who were here 7 or 8 years, spoke great Spanish, one had taken out Mexican citizenship. But, one day the police mistakenly broke down the door of their neighbors' house - wrong people/place, no criminal activity there. That drove them to pull up all roots, sever ties with the folks they knew Lakeside, and move back to the States.
  2. Another couple, very social, loved the local crafts. Worried by the home invasions/robbers (yup robbers not burglars), they made thier bedroom into a safe room and slept every night behind a locked metal door. They moved up to the portion of Baja that I call "little America" - they say it's close to veterans' hospitals in San Diego, and has lots of great shopping.

But I really would like to hear from people who have chosen to leave Lakeside, and what led to that choice.

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I had helped a newly wed couple (not kids) come down from Washington State, they lasted 9 months, she couldn't take the way animals are treated in MX.

The lady from Canada who rented my casita for 5 winters and had been coming to MX for 20 years, no longer returns, she doesn't feel safe. Two sisters also from Canada who came for many years, the same reasons.

At my family reunion a week ago they were all happy I had returned NOB although I assured them I never felt unsafe or threatened at any time I lived in MX. But, there is a sense of foreboding that is transmitted through family NOB to those living in MX and nothing you can do or tell them can offset the negative press they read.

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I would love to hear from the boomerang bunch: Those that leave and then, come back. I know of one who just did and another couple working on it. They would have an interesting perspective.

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The majority of people I know who have left here did it because their kids needed their help. The second most common reason is healthcare, since Canadians and those of Medicare age in the US are covered at home but not here.

People talk about and worry about security but I don't personally know anyone who has left because of it. In the USA I had my car stolen twice and most bikes I ever owned were stolen despite locking them carefully. and yes I did have a purse lifted at a restaurant, although it was returned with everything but the cash by a lovely bus driver on whose bus it had been left by the thief.

The people who do best here, as far as I can see, are the ones who didn't move here for the low cost of living or even the climate, but for the adventure. They don't bemoan the quirks and the differences from home, they embrace and celebrate them. Viva la diferencia!

I'll admit some things can be distressing. I am sometimes upset by the way people treat their animals, but I worked for the SPCA in the US and know there were plenty of mistreated animals there, you just didn't see them day to day because of the higher level of privacy. And I know many Mexicans who dote on their pets and take them everywhere, unlike the high level of shut-in pets in the US. The poverty and need can weigh me down sometimes but it's so easy to make a difference in peoples' lives with relatively little cost or effort. In general I'm not talking about volunteering for big organizations because the politics ruins those for me. Instead I have nurtured personal relationships (working very hard on my Spanish to make this possible) and do what I can for these people I have come to love -- and they do what they can for me. It is a very satisfying life, but I don't know that it would be had I felt the need to isolate myself in a fortress due to fears for my security.

I haven't personally had a single bad incident since coming here (admittedly only 2 1/2 years ago) but have had bucket loads of good ones. I have mostly Mexican neighbors and do feel a sense of community and watching out for each other. I feel the same community with my "extranjero" friends who all embrace the adventure. I'm not saying I'll never leave but it would take a lot at this point.

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Most of the people I personally know who have left here have fallen into one of these categories:

1. Health and aging and health insurance.

2. Missing their family or friends, or family responsibilities.

3. Financial misfortune.
I don't personally know anybody who has left because they felt unsafe here, but I imagine that sometimes happens too, whether those fears are justified or imagined. The other reason I suspect a lot of people leave, though it's never well expressed, is:
4. "Fish out of Water Syndrome". It's sort of like what gringal and valgal mentioned as "lifestyle shock". It could be the language difference, the "foreign-ness", the quirks and warts of Mexico, the "it's not like this back home" thing, the whatever, but it all adds up to being too much for some people and they decide to leave. (And I think this "what's next?"/ disconnected from the world around them condition can contribute hugely to the "fear for safety" reason.)
Living in Mexico just wasn't a good fit for them. And there is nothing wrong with that.
But I also think that a LOT OF PEOPLE move here with almost no experience in Mexico, and with no idea of where they are really moving to, and all that it involves. Some adapt and thrive, some don't. As everybody has said before, "it's not for everyone".
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Looking back, I am surprised to remember how many friends returned due to a failed relationship. Came down with the new love of their life and one or both returned when things went sour.

I've had many friends who miss watching thier grandchildren grow up and decide yearly visits aren't enough.

I don't like the ways animals are treated, but rather than leave, I work to make small changes. I have also found that most volunteer organizations already have enough chiefs so I am comfortable just being an indian. Seems to work better.

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The callous disregard for the welfare of animals at times rankles me. My observation was that Mexicans treat animals as a commodity or utility item "what can you do for me", I'll feed you as long as I have a need for you, rather than the love and family affection we extend to creatures less fortunate than us.

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. My observation was that Mexicans treat animals as a commodity or utility item "what can you do for me", I'll feed you as long as I have a need for you, rather than the love and family affection we extend to creatures less fortunate than us.

giltner68,my Mexican neighbors dote on their pets.

You really should try to avoid making blanket generalizations.

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I wouldn't generalize just based on my neighbors either otherwise I'd conclude what cbviajero did. My neighbors treat their pets like members of the family. But that sure isn't my observation of the larger community here.

This place does seem tough on animals. There's a tremendous local effort for animal rescue here, particularly dogs. There seems to be a lot of dumping including by out of towners who may be aware that the expats here really do try and cut down on the animal misery.

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Wow! I've not arrived in Mexico yet but I'm sensing a little discontentment from a few of folks living in Ajijic with regards to petty theft. Hopefully this thread does not reflect the underlying sentiment of the entire village. No, I'm quite sure it doesn't.

After 30 years of living in England followed by 30 years living in the U.S., my wife and I thought our final adventure could be 30 years living in Mexico. We have made a few exploratory visits and quickly fell in love with the place but after reading some of the comments here we're now wondering, "Is this a place growing more unsafe or not?". Since we're talking adventure here, it's unlikely to dissuade us from living in Mexico, but it might influence buying versus renting. Sorry, I apologize for the off topic drift...

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