DEAR DOGS AND CATS

(The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.)

 

cat-dogThe dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to
each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the
other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I must exit
through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1)  They live here. You don’t.  (2)  If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.  That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.  (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.  (4)  To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
sons/daughters who are short, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don’t ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don’t hang out with drug-using people; (7) don’t smoke or drink, (8)
don’t want to wear your clothes, (9) don’t have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don’t need a  gazillion dollars for college and (11)
if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Pin It
Anyone Can Train Their Dog By Art Hess July 2017 Considering Another Dog? May 2017 Little Things Means a Lot March 2017 Vocal
Anita's Animals By Jackie Kellum June 2017 Anita’s Animals April 2017 Anita’s Animals February 2017 Anita’s Animals December
Anyone Can Train Their Dog By Art Hess   Obesity is the leading nutritional disease across America and affects far too many of our pets. If your
Anita’s Animals By Jackie Kellum   We all look forward to Spring, which technically started March 20th. But local cats and dogs pushed up that
A NEW LEASE—on Life! By Judit Rajhathy, B.A., RNCP, D.Ac1. Hot Dogs - Maybe . . . but Chicken?   Most people know that processed meats are carcinogenic
Wordwise With Pithy Wit By Tom Clarkson   This morning, my pal F.T. – who shared the Iraq experience with me during my third trek there – forwarded
LAKESIDE LIVING Kay Davis Phone: 376 – 108 – 0278 (or 765 – 3676 to leave messages) Email: kdavis987@gmail.com November
Front Row Center By Michael Warren    The Pajama Game By Richard Adler and Jerry Ross Directed by Peggy Lord Chilton Music directed
Every Word  Important By Herbert W. Piekow   Every word a writer writes has meaning yes, sometimes they never get published or the book
LEGERDEMAIN—Italian Style By Jim Rambologna   Enzio Grattani was the Editor-in-Chief of a local rivista (or magazine) in Ajiermo, Italy. Locals
 Find us on Facebook