Quips

By Max Bird

 

parrotI believe Ojo’s readers would like to hear about my experience with near death. Also, my article will serve to keep bird lovers on the lookout for early warning signs of illness.

I am a pneumonia survivor. Not many parrots can tell you this, as we drop dead rather quickly. I thank Francisco, who noticed I was breathing only through my mouth. He quickly noticed my greeting, “How Are You?” came out sounding more like, “Howa Tu?” Jani immediately contacted her Facebook friends. On their expert advice we were directed to Doctor Pepe Magana in San Antonio. After scratching his head, he pulls out this syringe, as long as the tail on an elephant. I think perhaps it is a joke, but it isn’t.

“Keep Max’s wings pinned behind him as you flip him upside down on your chest. Cover his face with your hand while keeping his beak clamped shut,” Dr. Pepe told Francisco. The needle must have been sharp. When it went into my breast, it felt like little more than a prick.

“The syringe has measured amounts for three more daily injections of antibiotic… Do you have someone at home who can hold him down for the other shots?”

My next shot came on the following day. Jani pinned my back flat against the bony area between her breasts, my wings folded under. (If I had not known better, I would have thought it erotic.) Tense, like sticks, my legs thrust outward. Like tiny antennas, my claws stretched for the heavens. But, Francisco forgot to tell Jani to hold my beak shut. That she got bit was just a reflex reaction as the needle went in. It was not a conscious act, I can assure you. And, the bite only hurt Jani until the swelling went down.

I am better now, although in molt. And my impulses are in check. Come visit us, Ojo reader, and I will give you a kiss.

Plumas,

Max Bird, Public Relations Specialist

 

Pin It
The National Bird   Ben Franklin, it might be recalled, Entreated all his fellow men: “Forget about the eagle bald, Wild turkey is American.   “Bald
MAX BIRD—My Life Translated by Janice Kimball   Today, I am the public relations director of Aztec Art Studios in Ajijic Mexico. I strive to
Blue Birds With Wheels, Not Wings By Carol L. Bowman   I remember the yellow bus and driver waiting impatiently, as I ran the last 500 feet of
Wondrous Wildlife By Vern and Lori Gieger Birds of a Feather   We would like to dedicate this months column to a very dear friend and a true friend
Wondrous Wildlife By Vern and Lori Gieger Polly Wants a . . .Tortilla!?   Parrots are among the most beautiful and intelligent birds in the world.
Wordwise With Pithy Wit By Tom Clarkson   This morning, my pal F.T. – who shared the Iraq experience with me during my third trek there – forwarded
  VICTORIA SCHMIDT   Column: Editor’s Page   Website:   Victoria Schmidt came to Mexico with her husband, in 2007. 
  ALEJANDRO GRATTAN-DOMINGUEZ   Column: Editor’s Page   Website:   Wrote/directed first movie about Mexican-Americans, Only
    MOONYEEN PATRICIA KING   Column: Profiling Tepehua   Website:   Settled in Mexico 13 years ago.  The
  KEN MASSON   Column: Bridge by the Lake   Website:   Ken Masson has been playing, teaching and writing about bridge
 Find us on Facebook