My Lucky Good Luck Kit
By Bill Franklin
You probably remember when you used to have stock. And a job. Those were the good times, the lucky times. You had it all. But not anymore. Now you’re flat out unlucky and plum out of luck. You’re one of the millions who happens to be an American in an unlucky time. But there is something that’s possible that I bet you never even thought was possible–the end of unluckiness as you’ve known it. Yes, we here at Ending Unluckiness As You’ve Known It will change your luck. And we’ll change your luck not tomorrow but right now, this moment.
Can you say the magic words ipso facto? Of course you can. Let’s hear it...ipso facto. Now shout it... Keep on yelling it. Bring it down a bit, yeah that’s better. I can put an end to your unluckiness. Yes I bet you never thought you could be so lucky as to have unluckiness end. But it can end and it will end. All you need is Franklin’s Magic Good Luck Kit, perfectly designed to get you through these troubled, dire times.
The first major cause of bad luck is living. Living invites bad luck. That’s because anything can happen. So when anything can happen you need to be able to throw a pinch of salt over a shoulder. So our Lucky Good Luck Kit comes with a bag of salt (sea salt or any salt it doesn’t matter) to pinch and toss just when bad luck strikes. (The sooner you activate the pinch the better as bad luck can get entrenched but entrenched bad luck is something even this kit can (if it has to) overcome.
The next component of your new affordable kit is a toothpick. Yes there will be a time in your life when you’ll need to knock on wood. Toothpick wood is perfect for this and meets all the knock-on-wood specifications. Some people have thought they could just knock on their dashboard in the mistaken believe that burled plastic would bring good luck. Plastic dashboards or burled plastic anything doesn’t work and that the more modest toothpick is perfect and will do the job.
I know some of you have been caught without a prayer. So my advice is don’t get caught without a prayer. We make this possible by providing you with a special 8 page 2 by 2 inch prayer book. And the prayer in this prayer book comes absolutely free with your affordable kit purchase.
So here’s what you get for your last lucky nickel. You get a bag of salt, a toothpick and a prayer book with an original Franklin type prayer.