My Interview With April Glickenglopper
By Lisa Jorgensen
What brings you to Mexico?
I came here looking for my husband, actually. He went out for a newspaper, and never returned. This was years ago, and at first it was a relief, you know. But a friend of mine sent me a YouTube link of him doing the Thriller dance on the Ajijic Plaza. And sure enough, there he was, looking more divine in all that zombie makeup than ever. I found the thought of him as a “living dead man,” quite arousing, for some reason. Love is strange, is it not?
Apparently. Have you been able to find him?
Yes, darling, but the fact that the makeup was full-body was a bit off-putting, after all. We did try a little canoodling one evening, but he slid clean off the couch, and wrenched his back. One whole Viagra pill, wasted. What a shame it was. But I did find a new beau.
I’m not surprised. There are many handsome single men down here.
Yes, but not quite as many young ones as I’d like. I had to go all the way down to the skate park on the malecón to find him. It was just murder in my heels.
The long walk, you mean?
No, skate boarding. But what fun we had! All afternoon, swooshing up and down the malecón with my skirt flapping in the breeze, and people covering their eyes...and all in time to the Mariachi music a little band was playing. You should have seen the looks on their faces! People here really do appreciate older people more, don’t they? Everyone was so enthusiastic. I’m told laughing and pointing are signs of respect here in Mexico.
What will you do now? Are you planning to stay in the area?
Oh, I can’t possibly. Home calls me, you know. And besides, my beau turned out to be a little younger than I realized. So, the sooner the better, according to the local police chief. But I shall always cherish the fond memories!
