A BUS BY ANY OTHER NAME
By Sandra Hayes
Getting around Guadalajara by bus entails more han paying your two pesos and pulling yourself on board. More than a means of getting from one place to another, bus-riding has its protocol, seating priorities, salesmen and entertainment and, most importantly, most buses have names.
You can feel secure riding with "Nada es Imposible" (Nothing is Impossible) or "Bucanero " (The Buccaneer) or, depending on your sign, "Sagitario 3." A recent ride with the boldly written "Brenda Last-Name-Of-Many-SyIlables" was a piece of heaven. Stops were smooth, starts didn't throw children down the aisle and there was no heading off vehicles to be first off the glorieta. Unfortunately, the capable Brenda seems to be the first and only of her gender at the wheel.
On the other hand, you might want to think twice before entering the frightening "Tormenta China" (Chinese Torture) or any bus piloted by "Bad Boy" or someone who is "Bad To The Bone."
English seems to vie with Spanish to give impact to a bus name. But there are often translation problems such as "Whiskey Avershandzy" (sic) and "The Concented" which might be " El Consentido," or Spoiled Brat.
Yet another bus proudly advertises that it is a rolling "Nigth Club" (sic) but the error is understandable. Certain spellings in English have never made sense to me either. Some are just plain mysterious, such as the perhaps comforting message across the windshield "When I Need You."
With all the buses in town, it is rare to encounter one more than once-but twice was two times too many for "Express de Medianoche " (Midnight Express). The baddest of the Bad Boys commandeered this vehicle according to his mood, which was usually angry. Not a comment came from his captive passengers as he squealed past cars and other buses almost forced onto sidewalks, exchanged vigorous conversations with other drivers that were composed mostly of hand signals, and blithely passed up requested stops. Would-be passengers left frantically signaling by the side of the road were the lucky ones. Unfortunately, or purposely, there was no inviting "How's My Driving?" sign anywhere in sight. (FYI he terrorizes Route 101.)
Naming buses must be a big step, next to interior decorating, in making the vehicle an extension of the man. It certainly makes the adventure even more colorful. Speaking of which, the advent of luxury buses is a dream come true. Not only are their routes extensive and convenient, but the seats are soft, the TV sometimes works and the drivers are always polite. They too have names like "El Cardenal," "El Platino," "La Turquesa" and "La Dorada." But these aren't name-names. They are colors, for goodness sake! Where's the creativity in that? Unless one needs to go from one end of town to the other without standing, the real fun lies in taking chances with the "Grim Reaper" or perhaps enhancing the ride with the delightful "Brenda."
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