By Maggie Van Ostrand
The Burning Bush

     It may no longer be Halloween season when I can justify writing scary stuff about ghosts, zombies, or hobgoblins – but it is November and there’s nothing scarier than U.S. elections. This year, Americans have seen Republican candidates vying for a place in history even lower than that of George W. Bush. As if that’s possible.
     I confess to not authoring what you’re about to read, but when someone sent it to me a few weeks ago, I couldn’t resist passing it on to you for the November Op-Ed column because it’s so funny. For this election which will give us Bush’s replacement, it would be kind to stop the nasty comments and give a tip of our hat to the Bush. To that end, here are a few observations about the George W. Bush Presidential Library, now in the planning stages. It is to include:

     • The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
     • The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can’t remember anything.
     • The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t have to show up.
     • The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
     • The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
     • The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one can find.
     • The National Debt Room which is huge and has no ceiling.
     • The Tax Cut Room with entry only by the wealthy.
     • The Economy Room, which is the toilet.
     • The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first hour here, they make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth hour.
     • The Dick Cheney Room, in an undisclosed location.
     • The Environmental Conser­vation Room, still empty.
     • The Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
     • The Airport Men’s Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
     • The ‘Decider Room’ complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and music to dance by.
     • The Electron Microscope Room, which helps all five visitors locate Bush’s accomplishments.

     See how easy it is to be kind, now that Bush has been rendered impotent? Oh wait, he was impotent for eight years.