54 replies to this topic

[Travis]

We moved to Mexico four and a half years ago. I haven't ever ventured back NOB except for one trip, but I don't think that one really counts. It was just for work, five days, to a city I'd never been to before and I was holed up in a hotel conference room pretty much the entire time.

Toward the end of next month, I'll be going to California (where I grew up) for a reunion with my brothers. I haven't lived there in decades. I imagine it will be interesting in a "reverse culture shock" kind of way.

[angela04101]

I came with the intention of settling here permanently, and although I've only lived here one year, every month I'm more convinced it's been the right choice for me. I recently went back NOB for a visit and found the same disconnect some of the posters here have found. Most of my friends and former family (of my ex's) weren't that interested in hearing about Mexico, I think it's too alien for them (in Maine) to try to relate to. Friends who have been thinking about retiring in another country wanted to hear more about Mexico, but were too concerned about safety probably even to visit. For me, this trip was one more nail in the coffin of my former life in the U.S. Expatriation truly does mean leaving the old life behind, and maybe folks who are unhappy in Mexico still keep one foot in their former home.

I think the sad stories posted here are about more than the expat experience. I think it's about how we are aging now. We are the first generation of retirees who choose to re-create our lives anew in another country - in large numbers. There have always been a few, but here we are re-inventing retirement on a larger scale than ever before, because we have the opportunity to do so as never before. Part of that is re-defining how we do family as elders, how we need to let go of family and move on. It's a bitter-sweet process, but it's how we pay for the freedom to live as we choose at this stage if life.

[Canookie]

I could NEVER leave my family and friends that I have worked building relationships with for so many years {too many years to count!!). To me, six months is my max. I find it funny that people go home and expect the world to stop for them. They left!! My children, grandchildren (and great grandchild on the way!) are too close to my heart to only see them once or twice a year. Six months works for us. We have our "southern friends" and can still have a close relationship with our friends and family back home. Best of both worlds!

[suz]

yes, "let go of family and move on" is a huge undertaking emotionally, yet I am striving to do so. Do you remember how you felt about aging parents hanging around, if you were lucky enough to have any? Why do that to our next generations? Yet, selfishly, it hurts to let them go on with their lives w/o me there. I do find several months gone is too difficult to re-establish life on either end. Maybe some people can afford to keep a home on each end. That might help.

[Canookie]

Gee...I sure never thought of my parents as "hanging around" when they got older. They were still interesting and I was able to give back just a fraction of what they had given me. I hope I don't sound like a polyanna and I have no intentions of interfering in my kids' lives when I can't take care of myself - I have made my arrangements to be looked after. I don't feel I am harming them by "hanging around". And in the meantime, we help them out by babysitting, having family dinners etc. We don't keep homes on both ends - we rent at each. I think they still enjoy having us old codgers in their lives!

[Ginger]

Not everyone has family. I haven't lived in the US since the early '80's so naturally I'm totally disconnected. Home is where I am & so far I'm choosing to stay right here & have no plans to go back. I'd be a total alien there.

[RVGRINGO]

I spent the early '60s in Turkey, the early '70s traveling in Africa, Asia and the Middle East &the mid-70's at sea in the South Pacific. Each return to the USA was more and more shocking, making moving to Mexico in 2001 a welcome transition back to what had become 'real life' for me. My last visit to the USA was in 2006 and I have no desire to visit there again. Chapala is home now.

[privado]

In case you're thinking about it - check out this article

http://www.cbsnews.com/8334-505146_162-57382790/the-10-best-places-to-retire/

[phxfunguy]

In case you're thinking about it - check out this article

http://www.cbsnews.c...aces-to-retire/

I had everything these cities in the article can offer in both Minneapolis and Phoenix, so there's definitely something else that draws us to move to Lakeside and it's the people and the community. The great weather and inexpensive COL are an extra bonus for me. Marquette, Michigan? Right....after shoveling snow for 30 years in Minnesota you couldn't pry me loose from here to get me up there to live in a $130,000 median house EVEN if the people walked on the sidewalk and said "good morning" to me! Except they'd mostly stay inside in their forced air heating or AC.

[bimini6]

Culture Shock is in my face. We did not move back NOB because of the increase in violence, my husband took a job NOB for 5 years, so that is why we moved. He has adjusted much better than me, but I am the one that goes to the grocery store, see my old friends stressed to the max and dying of various diseases and cancers (I think from Stress). It is hard to live here again and I cannot wait for the 5 years to pass. I only have 4 years and 6 months left, and I have been counting since the day I arrived back NOB. I will take Mexico anyday over the rat race here.

[johanson]

In 1996 my plan was to come to Mexico one time per (year) winter for perhaps 4 months. Now that is reversed and I call this home and go north 3 times per year. Each time I go I look forward to going and after a few weeks think about coming back.

The only time I go for a long time is in early May. Once the rainy season starts for real, I come back to my second but real home.

[CHAPALAMAC]

Where on Lake Chapala did you live? We have been considering buying in Ajijic. As we were only visiting for a few weeks we found Ajijic to be more attractive than Chapala. But then again our hosts were inclined to show us 'their' Chapala which was very run down. What parts of Chapala are worthwhile to visit and perhaps invest in?

 

 

Agreed,
Personally, after almost 3 years at Lakeside, it was Paradise Lost for me --not found.

I moved to Mexico to be part of Mexico and it's culture. instead found the huge Ex-Pat community to be a repeat of life I left behind in California, picked up and encapsulated in the pueblos on Lake Chapala, with some additional annoyances thrown in.
In California, I had a Mexican gardener, occasional maid and great weather, as well as many Senior Citizen Centers with fabulous programs-- only real difference, was location, size, amenities and security.

What I did not find at lakeside were stores that were open after 5pm or restaurants after 8 pm of even a social life after 6pm.
More importantly peace of mind or security- After 3 Home Invasions and burglaries and a warning from Minesterio Publico Detectives to buy a gun- It was a No Brainer- Sell the House and Move, I chose to move to Guadalajara. where I already had Mexican friends.
 

[bookwoman]

Wow! What a very interesting discussion. I always love to hear other people's' experiences of living In Mexico. We have lived here for ten years and this is our home but I always recommend a trip up North for a "reality check".

[bdmowers]

We went back to Los Angeles, our former home for 35 years, for 5 weeks in September/October. My partner's family had little or no time for us, my family was able to squeeze 1 visit into their schedule. We did a little better with friends. I loved being back for the first couple of weeks then the ferociousness of the culture set in and I was still shaking after I got back home (here). Even the car was glad to get back! (Transmission problems ceased at the Jalisco border, no kidding.) I wouldn't even consider living there again. This is Paradise. Home.

[MyHomeSweetHome]

9 years living in Mexico.  Moved to Guadalajara to learn Spanish.  The first early visits NOB, every 6 months, were a huge culture shock.  I spoke English with a Spanish accent and was irritated with how spoiled we are NOB.  The last Christmas we spent up north, I cried when it was time to come back.  Not that i didn't want to but I left some of my freedom behind.  I go out on occasion alone but nothing like I ever did up north.  

 

Shopping and so many improvements here over the past 9 years.  We were commenting today how the city has kept up with it's beautification that took place during the PanAmerica games.  

 

It's been 3 years since we have been back.  Every morning I wake up and look down into Chapala and my breath is taken away...I comment, "Oh, it's such a beautiful day today!  I'm so grateful to live here!  I just love our home and life here."  

 

After a while, you lose the Spanish accent while speaking English, and your brain doesn't freeze so much as you try to remember the English word.   It helped a lot by typing in English on forums.   Maybe adding virgin coconut oil to the diet helped too

 

A lot has changed in our hometown since we moved down.   Crime is up as an early release program was put in place and guess where they are relocating?  It's very sad but crime is global.  As things change, we change along with it to make it work.  We're not afraid of changes.  Embrace solutions.  We're home.