29 replies to this topic

[lakeheron]

That is what parents are doing here even with their 20 something kids.

[wisecracker]

I wouldn't recommend it. Normally in the summer the grand kids come here, not this year. Last year we were constantly on edge even though things were much more calm than they are now. We'll be going north instead to visit.

[cookie]

I know this isn't what you want to hear....and it's dissappointing, but be assured that this advice is coming straight from the heart.

[rufus]

You have received a lot of advice, but most of it is focused on secruity issues. There are social issues that you should be aware of before you make this move.

Is it a permanent move or just a temporary move? If permanent, realize that your future daughter in law and grandkids will be Mexican. At age thirteen, your son is already cast in the Anglo mold, but he will adapt. Your grand children may be another story.

Sometimes it is real hard to reach across the divide and make contact with grand kids of another culture.

I wish you luck no matter what you decide.

Rufus

[Canuck]

Thank you rufus for a different approach to my concerns, or those I should have. Food for thought.

[cosalamx]

You have received a lot of advice, but most of it is focused on secruity issues. There are social issues that you should be aware of before you make this move.

Is it a permanent move or just a temporary move? If permanent, realize that your future daughter in law and grandkids will be Mexican. At age thirteen, your son is already cast in the Anglo mold, but he will adapt. Your grand children may be another story.

Sometimes it is real hard to reach across the divide and make contact with grand kids of another culture.

I wish you luck no matter what you decide.

Rufus

I have no idea whether you are speaking from experience, but our daughter's husband is Mexican and they have two children. We have not noticed that the kids are any different than the "Anglo mold", other than the fact that they are trilingual (English, Spanish and French). They have lived in Mexico and Canada and they are equally comfortable in our home and their Mexican grandparents' home, and the two families get along extremely well, we are welcome at the homes of all the "in-laws" and we have welcomed the various aunts and uncles and cousins in our home. We have never thought of their dual citizenship as anything other than a positive force in the lives of our grandchildren, and it has given us greater insight into the life of an "ordinary" Mexican family.

[bmh]

Rufus it is up to the parents grandparents and great grand parents to keep up the relationship and it is not that hard. My mother is celebrating her 90´s next week we will all be there and she has gread grand kids who are half French half Spanish, Vietnamese and Japanese, there is no divide in our family according to ethnic groups or nationality and France is a whole less accepting than Mexico.

[RCman]

Hi... I'm pretty sure I met you and your son last summer at a restaurant we both frequented daily. The owner of the restaurant was a good friend of mine. Your son is very trusting and outgoing as he would come and go from the restaurant frequently. I'm another Canadian and if you want to talk more then e-mail me at bobakaflip&yahoo.ca.

[micnsu]

You have received a lot of advice, but most of it is focused on secruity issues. There are social issues that you should be aware of before you make this move.

Is it a permanent move or just a temporary move? If permanent, realize that your future daughter in law and grandkids will be Mexican. At age thirteen, your son is already cast in the Anglo mold, but he will adapt. Your grand children may be another story.

Sometimes it is real hard to reach across the divide and make contact with grand kids of another culture.

I wish you luck no matter what you decide.

Rufus

I had to come back and reply because I didn't realize how bad the situation was when I originally posted. I have to admit that now I am not so sure about staying here and we're heavily weighing moving somewhere else, but the comment by Rufus, to me, is not a big deal at all.

I was raised by an American father and Costa Rican mother in the US and there was NEVER any of the issues you mentioned on either side of the family. I agree with bmh about it being up to the parents and grandparents making the environment open for welcoming the children. Right now, my 1/4 Costa Rican, 3/4 American kids have limited exposure to their American grandparents because my MIL has a mental disorder she doesn't want to deal with. It's our decision to shield them from her irrational and unpredicable tyrades. But even my very racist grandparents-in-law have been VERY accepting of ME.

[Chooch57]

Very interresting comment, that would be a tough decisions for me.