62 replies to this topic

[More Liana]

. . .

IMHO, the best idea so far is taking in ironing. The other excellent point made by bmh is birth control.

What about that Teach a Woman to Fish program? Is it still operating???

If the OP lets her iron at his house--using his electricity--she'd be able to make some money doing that work. Otherwise, everything she earns will have to be paid to the CFE. Ironing makes that little dial just whip around.

[bmh]

It looks like someone had a good idea with ironing which would be good for her if someone can teach her ironing I am sure that someone can come up with an ironing board and an iron and she could work at someone´s house while he kids are at school and in her place when they are not. That would be a start if she has electricity at her place which of course is another if.

[AWC]

As the OP explained it this woman's housing situation precludes taking ironing in. since she is unknown and the hot season is on us it makes sense to set the ironing board etc .. so she can work in a covered outdoor area if possible. We have had 3 women iron for us over the past 6 years and taking the ironing out and picking it up didn't work well for us. a regular time when the household and yard help were also working was best, once a week, $200 pesos up to 4 hours...finishe the basket in 3 hours, still $200 pesos.

If the OP trains her I will hire her to begin in April.

[Trailrunner]

Wow, AWC, that's very cool.

[Joyinmexico]

The first poster say "I know all these details because one night I was out walking my dogs and I saw her sitting on the curb, crying her eyes out in the dark. I walked past and of course I had to ask if she was okay, and after a few minutes she explained that she was afraid."

I have lived in Ajijic over a year now and I too, cried in the dark for my own personal reasons. I noticed that rarely does a Mexican woman cry in public or seldom can you catch them crying privately. Most look at me in a strange way on the bus when tears come from under my sunglasses. Oddly enough I met a well to do Mexican woman who came to my house telling me of her abuse, crying and was loosing everything. We shared stories but I never hear from her again. Mexican women are very proud.

Yes, this woman needs birth control, help on abuse and so forth. BUT SHE NEEDS COMPASSION & EMPATHY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!

While you are holding hands loving your mate, your new partner and enjoying the beautiful Ajijic climate, enjoying all the cultural events we have, remember there are people (more than pets) who need understanding and care. If you can afford to help her, guide her, do so. There are native Rosamarias and many ex-pat Rosamarias too.

I might just start a Rosamarias Society. I bet a quite a few of those single ex-pat gals here will join.

[guss]

Yes, this woman needs birth control, help on abuse and so forth. BUT SHE NEEDS COMPASSION & EMPATHY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!

While you are holding hands loving your mate, your new partner and enjoying the beautiful Ajijic climate, enjoying all the cultural events we have, remember there are people (more than pets) who need understanding and care. If you can afford to help her, guide her, do so. There are native Rosamarias and many ex-pat Rosamarias too.

I might just start a Rosamarias Society. I bet a quite a few of those single ex-pat gals here will join.

BRAVO! Great post!

btw, the topic of birth control is a good one. Over the years I have known many an American man with 5-7 kids from 2 or more marriages under his belt.

G

[More Liana]

BRAVO! Great post!

btw, the topic of birth control is a good one. Over the years I have known many an American man with 5-7 kids from 2 or more marriages under his belt.

G

[bmh]

I ran in a similar situation several years ago with a young woman who had 3 children with a man who disappeared to the US and did not send any money for 10 years. The kids and the mother lived unter tarp with no running wayer and no electricity. The young mother could not read or write. She went to work in a very difficult situation for 10 years, moved back under a tent with her mother and the mother´s boyfriend tried to rape her so she had to leave..
The young woman told me she would never have another baby and would not have any boyfriend ever again. She is now in her thirties , the old boyfriend , father of the children showed up again and "Rosamaria " is pregnant again....The man is around right now but who knows for how long. The older boy resents his father for coming back and taking his mother away from him and resents the new authority.. It is not a nice situation. This is just one of many situations in this town and in other towns, it is pretty discouraging to see what happens around over and over....
I do not see many men in the same situation, yes they should learn about responsability and birth control but it is up to the women to follow through as they are the ones left holding the bag.This is something the mothers need to engrave in their daughters´brains or there is no way to break that vicious circle of poverty.

[jrod]

If you are not familiar with Dr. Ruby K. Payne and "A Framework for Understanding Poverty," I encourage everyone to order this book to provide background on the psychological, social, and cultural implications of the cycles of poverty--all which are on top of the obvious economic issues. It is a core "text" for poverty workers (ie childcare advocates, school districts and boards) in Texas...it provides much-needed background and explanation for those of us wanting to help, but who have no background or primary understanding of the "whys" and cyclical nature of the repetitive, albeit ultimately, destructive behaviors. It is a pattern which we, as (generally speaking) middle-class foreigners cannot fathom, nor understand and, without this perspective, many of our well-intentioned efforts fail. If nothing else, take the self-quizzes...you will learn how very different your circumstances are from the cyclically poor, and will help provide a foundation for programs and efforts that have a chance of succeeding. Available from amazon.com in paperback and for Kindle.

[Ginger]

I think it would be a wonderful idea for Joy to start a Rosamaria Society. It always helps a person to concentrate on OTHERS & to see that there are people with real problems that make our own seem small in comparison.

[sandykayak]

And how would any of the Rosamarias (great idea for the Rosamarias Society) pay for birth control...and what about the Catholic anti-contraceptive mandates, and the possible macho refusal to wear a condom?

Is it Rosamaria or Rosa Maria? If someone who can get the money to her will PM me, I would like to donate 500 pesos. That's only a temporary help, I know. The teach her to iron is a super idea. sandykayak at yahoo dot com

[bmh]

The church is not nearly as powerful as you would think. The main problem is apathy and fear to speak about it to someone or a doctor. Once a woman finds out about her choices she usually will go for it especially if she has already several children I have taken a woman who did not want any more children to a doctor with me and after the visit the same woman went shopping for a woman doctor who was cheaper than the one I took her to, made an appointment and got a IUD.
Many of the men hate the condoms and do not use them consistantly so for that reason they are not effective.
The same woman also got several of a friends to be sterilized or use some kind of birth methods. Once a woman understands she can control the situation she becomes much more proactive.

[Ferret]

Good for you bmh!
We had a similar situation in San Miguel...children were "gifts from God" but with a husband who went NOB and was MIA for months of the year and sent no money, it was time for a different approach. Every time he showed up, she would get pregnant again and then had eight kids and no way to support them. With the help of a local organization and DIF, we got through to her that she had enough gifts from God. She chose to have her tubes tied because, after discussing it with her husband, there was no way that he was going to have a vasectomy. She got a job and is, now, a STRONG woman who doesn't need to depend on anyone. She blossomed.
We also apprenticed her oldest daughter to our maid so that she could get some experience and a reference...it worked but that's another whole very funny story.
DIF in San Miguel was an invaluable source when dealing with these kinds of situations.

[SINGHA]

I own the new Thai 2 GO on the west end of Ajijic. Please send her over say around 4:00pm (Closed Wednesdays & Thursdays). I will see what I can do to help.

Thip

[Shira]

Sylvia Flores provides birth control at her clinic on Ocampo in Ajijic. She also works with men.
She is now spending some time at the new center in Tephua in Chapala that is in the old LIA building.

[chelseagirls]

I own the new Thai 2 GO on the west end of Ajijic. Please send her over say around 4:00pm (Closed Wednesdays & Thursdays). I will see what I can do to help.

Thip

Thip, your food is fantastic and so are you!
Paula

[ValGal]

Sylvia Flores provides birth control at her clinic on Ocampo in Ajijic. She also works with men.
She is now spending some time at the new center in Tephua in Chapala that is in the old LIA building.

That is wonderful news. Does she take donations or work with a foundation?

[More Liana]

That is wonderful news. Does she take donations or work with a foundation?

Silvia Flores is one of the most dedicated and wonderful people in Ajijic. Go visit her, you will love her. Her work is some of the most important in town.

[Shira]

That is wonderful news. Does she take donations or work with a foundation?

She needs donations badly.
She runs classes for men about how to treat women.
She is also a midwife.

[Bisbee Gal]

Is this her center? If so, she lists the bank account info for donations. Also, she's at Ocampo #45 in Ajijic regulary for clinic hours. Sounds like a great program and I'll get over there with a donation later this week.

http://centrodedesar...ntact_info.html