Jump to content
Chapala.com Webboard

Can you relate?


CG2U

Recommended Posts

Okay, I looked. First thing I thought.... ELEVEN minutes of video of some jackass expat in Costa Rica???....no thanks.

But then I kept watching. There's a lot of truth in there, for some people who think they want to move here. A cautionary tale, for sure, goober video or not.

Still, this is "Mexico Light". If this area isn't easy to live in, I don't know where is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, ok...yes, it was a bit of a ramble with a point to it but perhaps those who could not relate to his video version of expat living could relate to this one...less than 2 min. sweet, to the point and great scenery! Plus it's a comfort to know mañana isn´t something that only happens in latin culture! If you ever thought it may be less trying on your patience in lets say Italy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/yoursay/changing_places/other_countries/hardest_years_of_my_life_mexico.shtml#vision-comments-view

"Hardest years of my life (Mexico)

I'm British and have been living in Salamanca in Mexico for over four years now. Before the move I thought it would all be a big adventure. I moved to Mexico with my husband who is from Salamanca and our little boy of three months. These have been the hardest four years of my life. Don't get me wrong - I'm now very happy here. I have some great friends, my husband has a good job with lots of prospects, my little boy is on the way to being bilingual and I have a good part time job that pays well. Of course I miss all my family and friends in England, and the food, and all the benefits of a first world country, but my destiny brought me here and I truly believe that my life is here in Mexico. I have learned a lot from my experiences (both good and bad) and that's what life is all about. ... "

This discussion seems a bit more realistic, to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Flexibility and adaptability.

When we immigrated to Canada from England in 1954, my mum cried every day for two years. Doesn't matter where you go if it's different and you're homesick. 1st word, 3rd world...it doesn't matter...it's just not your world.

"Papa was a rolling stone...wherever he laid his hat was his home"...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Despite the cultural differences that have either been accepted or avoided Mexico is definitely home now. I notice now more than ever when company from the states comes to visit and run off of the clock, it's rather annoying.

List some ways you have been able to positively accommodate your new way of life in Mexico to avoid feeling conflict?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

List some ways you have been able to positively accommodate your new way of life in Mexico to avoid feeling conflict?

#1. Learn in earnest and with great effort to speak communicative Spanish and read Spanish.

#2. Learn what a person of "Bien Educado" is and follow along at all times.

#3. Don´t be comfrontional with acquaintances, public servants or people doing a customer service job especially if it is a petty thing.

#4. Don´t lend money.

#5. Treat the maid or workers as paid employees, not friends.

#6. Watch your back in public places.

#7. Know when to ask for a favor and when not to and don´t give everyone the benefit of a doubt without prior confirmation they are OK.

#8. Don´t put down things about Mexico or Mexicans unless asked for an opinión and then tread lightly.

#9. Don´t tell people the US is better at this or that and if asked avoid the question in public.

#10. Stick up for your Mexican spouse even when they are wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

#1. Learn in earnest and with great effort to speak communicative Spanish and read Spanish.

"2. Learn what a person of "Bien Educado" is and follow along at all times.

"3. Don´t be comfrontional with acquaintances, public servants or people doing a customer service job especially if it a petty thing.

#4. Don´t lend money.

#5. Treat the maid or workers as paid employees, not friends.

#6. Watch you back in public places.

#7. Know when to ask for a favor and when not to and don´t give everyone the benefit of a doubt without prior confirmation they are OK.

#8. Don´t put down things about Mexico or Mexicans unless asked for an opinión and then tread lightly.

#9. Don´t tell people the US is better at this or that and if asked avoid the question in public.

#10. Stick up for your Mexican spouse even when they are wrong.

Great list AlanMexicali!

"2. Learn what a person of "Bien Educado" is and follow along at all times.

We had a situation recently at a "bien educado" birthday party. One of the persons I gave a ride to asked if they could see the recipient of their gift open the gift before we left. I discreetly asked the hostess if that was culturally acceptable or would they take the gifts home and open them privately. She smiled and said they would take the gifts home and open them privately. We said thank you and went on our way home. When one simply phrases a question in a manner to learn it is acceptable. Don't expect a thank card or even a thank you, your gift was not expected but gladly received. The recipient may not even know who gave the gift and I'm not sure it's appropriate yet to say who did.

#10. That applies to any nationality and there are ways to be on their team without agreeing. :D

For myself:

1. Being more relaxed about the time schedule has helped me a lot.

2. Realizing that if a chore isn't completed on task it is not to sweat about.

3. Taking advantage of the fact that I am a foreigner and there is a broad spectrum of acceptable excuses in my favor in how I do things no matter how hard I try to do things their way.

Example: buffet style over serving each guest individually as seated. Though I make great effort to learn about my new home country and make appropriate accommodations other than serving dessert, formal dinning is not my dish when hostess. The cultural experience in my home seems to be a national treat in the other direction at least I try to make it enjoyable and relaxed.

4. Having a great sense of humor regarding grammatical speaking errors always makes great conversation, learning and as stated the effort is usually appreciated, there were a few rare exceptions in the market place when first learning..

5. If you're adventurous, being able to have no expectations and realizing ahead of time that plans could change at any moment will also help one stay at ease.

6. Learning to say no is culturally acceptable, especially when it boils down to diet and physical limitations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I probably have a different personality. As a pilot, I used to ferry airplanes that I had never flown before.

You crank it up, get to the end of the runway and have a choice of taking it back and parking it or taking it off. If you take it off, you have to land it eventually. I never took one back and parked it, but I was sorely tempted occasionally. Over the years, I made more than one "ungraceful" landing.

I sold my house, loaded my Jeep and moved here, never having been in MX and speaking no Spanish. Been here over 6 years now.

I'm not sure that I "love" the place but it seems to be as good as any and better than a lot of places.

I look at it a lot like flying a strange airplane. Once you get it into the air, you are stuck with it. You have to figure out how everything works because you can't change what you have. You have to change the way you fly.

Mexico is not going to change. You either change to fit in or you are constantly annoyed by the way things work.

.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Make a deal with yourself and if you have a partner, then with him or her as well.

The deal: No forever commitment to the new country. Make it a year and agree to renegotiate at that time.

It may work out, or not, but you're just giving it "a try". That way, you're not mentally trapped.

Don't even attempt to "assimilate". You'll always be a foreigner, so just get comfortable with it. Be known as the nice, courteous foreigner (aka gringo). If you can become fluent in Spanish, that will ease your way.

And, as most of the above posts have suggested, leave your NOB expectations NOB. Expect differences. Your carpenter's grandma's illness will always be more important to him than your schedule.

If the 7 year itch or gross homesickness hits, go "home" for a few weeks. You may have a case of rose colored hindsight and that may cure it.

Finally, if you can't handle the changes and be happy, don't fool yourself. Make whatever excuse you need to (or have the nerve to be honest) and go where you need to be in order to make this short life of yours as happy as you can.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My fatigue came from the length of the video. (But I have to say, we all get cheap imports from overseas... those mitts he bought on the plaza or wherever were probably not made where he is. Seems we can buy the same crappy ones right here.)

As for the rest of his issues, he's right. The difference between those of us who love where we are have learned how to live with it, even plan for it... the rest have not; they leave, and that's okay with me.

I like his solution. Even I get exhausted sometimes from the constant issues that arise from living here. Does not mean I don't like it here. Cripes, I had culture fatigue in Canada way more often than I have it here.

I'm really impressed with what he says toward the end: those that don't like it try to Americanize it. What a waste of effort.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Plus it's a comfort to know mañana isn´t something that only happens in latin culture! If you ever thought it may be less trying on your patience in lets say Italy. "

You seem to have a strange concept about"Latin " people. If Italians are not Latins I really do not know who is..they are a whole lot more Latins than Mexicans who have been mixed with indigenous, In Europe Latins are Italians, Portugese, Spaniards and French..

Last I heard Rome was and is in Italy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...