valbogyo Posted May 19, 2013 Report Posted May 19, 2013 For the second time, in the last year, I have received email from a distraught friend, feeling very upset that they moved back to their home country, from Mexico. In both cases, the people had sold everything (except what fit in their car) and moved to Mexico. After three or four years, they became impatient and frustrated over things that happened (or were not happening) in their adopted land. They ended up selling their homes in Mexico and returning to their home countries. It is true that they should have come for a six month visit and rented before moving to Mexico, but that is water under the bridge. The same advice should be followed when considering a move back. Really.... they just forgot why they came to Mexico in the first place, and why they left the homeland. They remembered all the good things about suburbia and city living.... not why they left. Canadians and Europeans, especially: If you are considering returning home, try going for a visit first. Make sure that is what you want to do. Spend time looking at apartments, going to Costco and figuring out how much it will cost to buy new everything. In Canada and Europe, it is not that easy to find a furnished, long term rental. The cost of moving and starting again is unbelievable. (Not as bad for Americans....) Maybe you just need to take a deep breath, and a holiday. I know all these changes can get to you..... but take time to enjoy the positive things! And don't take your friends for granted, it is not always easy to make new ones..... and a lot of the old ones may be dead when and if you return to your home country!
lakeside101 Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 is there a 7 year inch syndrome here -- happening after 4 years?
HaggisLover Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 I have met more miserable Americans who do nothing but complain about service and way of life here so don't single out Canadians and europeans.
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 For my group of friends, yes. Some of them have had to stay because they could not sell their homes and it ended up being a blessing. One couple went to check out Real Estate in BC, the province with the mildest weather, and came back realizing there is nothing they could afford to buy in any place they would want to live. Rents in the most popular places begin at 800 per month for a tiny one bedroom in an older building. The main thing is...... the cost of stuff:sheets/coffee pots etc etc. It really adds up. In the meantime, that couple have settled in and are ready to stay. They are just taking more vacations (something they can not afford if they move to Vancouver Island... where they were considering) I feel sorry for my friend who moved back, overseas. She is lonely and wished she spent more time thinking about it... and she wished she paid to ship her things instead of selling them. She feels she left her life behind.
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 I have met more miserable Americans who do nothing but complain about service and way of life here so don't single out Canadians and europeans. You missed my point. It is very expensive for Canadians and Europeans to rent and furnish an apartment, or buy a home (in many EU countries). In my case, one friend is Canadian and the other is European. I said it is not as bad for returning Americans. It is why we Canadians and Mexicans like to shop in the States. Lots of discount and second hand stores. Europeans and Canadians just pay a lot for good quality items, as do Mexicans. And it is a lot further and more expensive to go back, if you find you made a mistake. Gosh..... people are always looking for something to be offended about!
HaggisLover Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 So one European friend you must know all the Europeans then.
bennie Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 the OP said: its MORE expensive for europens & canadians to move back, as opposed to americans. simple, i get what she said.
barcelonaman Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 haggis lover.. i suppose the lack of fresh haggis here must be a problem for you...
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 haggis lover.. i suppose the lack of fresh haggis here must be a problem for you... Ha! I forgot HaggisLover's other posts. Here I was caught by a troll. Shame on me.
Joyfull Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 I think you said it very well ValGal. My hubby still does some work in the U.S. and goes up about 6 times a year, sometimes I go with him or go to visit our daughter in Seattle. I feel blessed that in our first 4 years we have gone up there a lot. It just reinforces all the reasons we moved here. We are staying. Mexico is home
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks, Joyfull. I lived in that rainy place for over a decade. Love it during the summer, but not the rest of the year! The bottom line is: Don't move out of frustration or anger. Take your time and move slowly. Especially if you are elderly. This next move might be your last one, so be sure where you want to go. (And ship the things that mean a lot to you, if you can afford it!)
Ferret Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 Good OP! Nicely stated. I used to go back to Canada a couple of times a year...it'll be three years in November since my mum passed away and she was the reason I used to go. Even then the pace of life, traffic and costs used to be a shock. My hubby hasn't been out of Mexico since 1997. Imagine the shock it would be for him. On the other hand, every time he whines about the cost of some things here, I get to say "You have NO idea and really need a reality check". The long term visit, either coming to Mexico or going back to your previous life wherever, is EXCELLENT advice.
schraderone Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 You missed my point. It is very expensive for Canadians and Europeans to rent and furnish an apartment, or buy a home (in many EU countries). In my case, one friend is Canadian and the other is European. I said it is not as bad for returning Americans. It is why we Canadians and Mexicans like to shop in the States. Lots of discount and second hand stores. Europeans and Canadians just pay a lot for good quality items, as do Mexicans. And it is a lot further and more expensive to go back, if you find you made a mistake. Gosh..... people are always looking for something to be offended about! Thanks for your point of view, I think you gave some very sound advice! Best to visit first.
doberwoman Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 yes....things change a lot, after a year or more....
ajijicrocks Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 ValGal, very well written OP and I hope it will cause people to think before acting. Often here we encourage newbies to Ajijic to rent before buting and things have changed so much everywhere that the same is worth doing before returning to either NOB or Europe. I just returned from 2 weeks in Europe and thankfully yes, I can afford to live there, but could I have anywhere near the standard of life that I have here?? No chance!
Gilligan Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 Kudos Valgal, well written and very on-point post for those considering it. Especially for those that, as you said, sold everything up north and then bought down here. To sell everything again, and then move NOB is a risky proposition. Returning to a desireable location NOB and renting for 6 mos is a far more prudent move. I liken memories of NOB to the boyfriend / girlfriend that broke up with you. As time goes by they start to look better and better, and then when you see them again you realize you made the right decision. My compliments on the very appropriate post.
gringal Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 Excellent advice in the OP. We came her from coastal CA in 2004 and haven't returned since. That was one beautiful place to live and yes, I get nostalgic about it from time to time. Then, I bring myself up short and remember that what I'm really missing is the way it was when we first moved there many years ago, and how it really was when we left. There was no parking in the Big Sur hot spots and a long line of cars wound around the curves on highway One, going either north or south any day of the week. The weather, in the years where fog was ruling, was depressing. Friends here tell us that things have changed so much NOB that we wouldn't recognize it, but we left during the good times......so that's probably true. We did one thing I don't regret: Moved all of our favorite furnishings with us to Mexico, on the theory we wouldn't feel like we left our lives behind if we did. Those "old friends" that came with us are good company. The OP is so right. Don't look north or over the ocean with rose colored memories to guide you. If you must, visit for a while.
satnrose Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 My grandmother was always going on about changes and how nice it used to be. I could never understand, as a youngster, because I didn't have that frame of reference. I do now. LOL Where I live has a lot to do with financial limitations. I'm not poor, rather cautious with a affixed income. If I go back to the US, I might have to go with an inland small town USA and not my home state California. *sigh*. This is a good thread reminding us all to check out any area carefully before we pack it all in.
Arti Riberas Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 I am American living here 9 years now. I love it and have no intention of ever living stateside again. Mexico is my home. I love this place and our wonderful weather. I love Mexican people and am blessed to have many as friends here, in Guadalajara and Mexico City. I love the mystery, magic and enchantment of this country. Yes, there are challenges. Yes, there are difficulties, but I would rather face all those things here. Mexico is my home. I love it here. Viva Mexico!
giltner68 Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 I'm from the US, so maybe I don't have a dog in this fight. But, I did chuckle a bit, we have fire ants back home and one way to deal with them is take a shovel full of one mound and dump it on another and let them duke it out. In this case we could line up one of you folks with an equally assured person NOB who thinks we're all insane and watch the fur fly - ha, I'd pay to watch that one from a distance.
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 One of the things that I hear from people who have moved back to Canada is how they miss the weather in Mexico. That is the number one thing. One friend said she took for granted the fact that she could walk outside each morning and sit, looking at her garden, sipping her coffee. She gets 3 or 4 months of that now. So here I am, in Canada, getting rid of the apartment I have held onto for two years. I finally realized that I never, ever want to be wet and cold again. (I complained, bitterly, of our few blustery cold days in Chapala in February... four days of that made me cranky) The weather, the weather, the weather.......... Canadians and Northern Europeans: just repeat that over and over again before moving back home!
valbogyo Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Posted May 20, 2013 I'm from the US, so maybe I don't have a dog in this fight. But, I did chuckle a bit, we have fire ants back home and one way to deal with them is take a shovel full of one mound and dump it on another and let them duke it out. In this case we could line up one of you folks with an equally assured person NOB who thinks we're all insane and watch the fur fly - ha, I'd pay to watch that one from a distance. Umm. What fight? Why does everything have to be a conflict with some of you? Chill, for goodness sake!
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